My 16-year-old son asked me to take him for a driving lesson for his Special Time. We chose a time the next day. This gave me some time to prepare and think well about it.
I knew that I couldn't do the special time with out some listening time, so I decided to do a Listening Partnership to work on my terror at sitting in a car with him driving. I worked on my fears about dying. I trembled, screamed and laughed a lot, and made a good decision to trust in him. I spoke about how I believed that he was a thoughtful, risk-averse and careful person who could drive competently.
So when I was in the car with him I was able to notice how well he was doing. I was able to give him constructive feedback and guidance, and tell him what he was doing well.
I found it difficult to stay confident when we were in the car park and he seemed to be struggling. It was tricky to stay positive as he takes on challenges; yet that is what he needs from me. It is really obvious to me now that my fears get in the way of seeing his strengths and encouraging him to take on more. He is really aching for me to be pleased with him.
He ended up doing what he wanted to do that day, which was to drive on the freeway. He was really happy and cooperative that night. He seems much more pleased with himself.
–a mother in Brisbane, Australia