Last night I had a Listening Partnership and during my turn I started to work on my feelings about my relationship with my sister who I haven’t seen for nearly three years. My listening partner was making me laugh by suggesting I let my sister know just how much I miss and love her in a very self-expressed way to contradict the hopelessness and powerlessness I felt about our relationship. It was really good to laugh about it!
This morning I was feeling really stressed, my body hurt, and I just felt awful. I wasn’t sure why until my partner came to talk to me and I started to tell him how stressed I was feeling. He asked me why and I started to talk about my sister and as I did I started to weep about how much I missed her. After a long cry with the listening of my beloved partner I felt a whole lot better. My body felt back in one piece and the tension was gone. Oh yes, I remembered, crying is good for us! It releases stress hormones!
The rest of the morning went really well. I started to enjoy my studying which had felt really hard before the cry. And then I went for a lovely walk in the woods before picking up my daughter.
I knew it was one of my daughter’s closest friend’s birthday at kindy and the tradition is that the birthday girl gets to choose a Prince and two helpers. I knew how much my daughter wanted to get picked and how she thought she would because the two girls adore each other. The kindy door opened and the birthday girl came out with her crown on followed by my daughter. In three years my daughter has never looked so sad coming out of kindy, like she was about to burst out crying. Of course I guessed what had happened. She wanted to go straight to the car. When we got in the car I got in the back seat with her and she told me she hadn’t been picked as a helper or a Prince and she started to weep and weep and weep. Her whole world had collapsed around her. I held her close and listened to her tears and told her I was sorry and I knew how much she wanted to get picked.
She cried for a while and when I could see the tears were out I started to do some Playlistening. I told her that her dolls and animals had also been playing a game and that her dolly Molly hadn’t picked her dolly Emily and that had really upset Emily. My daughter loves it when I do this and she really got into the whole game of what was going on for her dolls. She brightened up and we had a wonderful afternoon of playing and being together.
Decode your child's difficult behaviors
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Stephanie is passionate about Parenting by Connection and what a massive difference it makes for children and parents alike. Parenting is very challenging but the tools you learn in this approach can help you turn any situation around no matter how hard and impossible it looks. They also help to create the loving and joyful connection that we all deeply long for with our children.