Month: September 2016

How To Set Limits In Five Words or Less

Even when we bring our best selves, by not shouting, bribing or threatening children when we try and tell them no, setting limits, and having them listened to, still often feels like an uphill struggle. But there’s a simple way to reach children who are acting off-track. Use touch over words. When children are acting irrationally,

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Tools for Connection

What can you do to build your child’s sense of connection for more cooperation, better learning, less sibling rivalry, and more laughter at your house? _____…

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Importance of Connection

A sense of being seen by you and connected to you bestows real powers on your child. It grants them the ability to think, to cooperate, to feel good about th…

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How Listening to a Micro-Preemie Helped Relieve Her Fear

By Laura Minnigerode Emma was born so early that she identified as a “Micro-Preemie.” That is, she weighed less than 800 grams and was born before 26 weeks. When I first met her, she was about 9 months old and weighed 15lbs, and she had a lot of fears about being picked up. Her history had included

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How Does Hand in Hand Work in Therapy?

In many parenting programs, rewards and punishment reign large. So an approach focussed on connection and listening offers therapists a refreshing change. Hand in Hand’s five empathetic listening tools form an approach that “can be described as a relationship-based, emotion-focused, trauma-informed parenting program,” says Maya Coleman, a child clinical psychologist, who also now runs Professional Intensives courses

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How Is it Possible to Parent Without Punishment?

“Are your parents strict?” Remember when that was all anyone asked about parents? Now we have dozens of labels, from gentle and calm parenting to authoritative and authoritarian. We have tiger moms, and helicopter moms, we have free-range parenting, positive parenting, peaceful parenting, even unparenting. Hand in Hand’s approach is based on connection. But what

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His Needs Nearly Crushed Me

My son is now 16 months old. When he was newborn he was a nightmare. We couldn’t lie him flat for the first 6 months of his life. I couldn’t leave him for a microsecond. I now believe he may have had silent reflux, though he was never diagnosed. As a new mum I was

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Take a Time Out from Time Outs

  Your son has been acting out all day. First he grabbed his friend’s toy truck at a playdate and refused to play nicely. He threw it across the room when you asked him to return it. Then when you got home he ate just two bites of a sandwich, turned his plate upside down

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Why Do My Kids Cry After We Have Good Fun?

When I started using Special Time with my children they just fell in love with it. Special Time is a Hand in Hand tool that works like this: You set aside a certain amount of time, say 10 – 15 minutes, and offer to play or do whatever your child likes. During this time you

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15 Connection-Building Books for Parents

  Our founder, Patty Wipfler’s book Listen, Five Tools to Meet Your Everyday Parenting Challenges, is a treasure trove of anecdotes and wisdom drawn from her 40 years working with children and families. At the centre of the approach are five listening tools, ways that parents can use to connect with their children to help

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Play Away School Stress?

    By Andrea McCracken When my 5-year-old started kindergarten, she would come home from school day a tightly wound and prone to crying. She seemed to be letting all her frustrations and bad feelings out on me, and although I could recognise that she was feeling tension from being in a new class, in

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Deux moyens pour stopper notre “spirale infernale” quand on est un parent à bout

Les sentiments intenses des parents pour leurs enfants, la routine de la vie quotidienne, les liens affectifs et la pression de la société sont autant de facteurs qui contribuent à ce tourbillon d'émotions, dit-elle. "Être parent est un travail émotionnel parce que nous aimons tellement nos enfants", a déclaré Patty. "La plupart des parents n'ont jamais ressenti cette intensité d'amour avant leur premier enfant. Ils feraient n'importe quoi pour eux. Et cela peut être accablant."

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Two Ways To Stop Your Downward Parenting Spiral

Parents’ intense feelings for their children, the everyday grind of daily life, emotional ties and pressure from society are all big contributors in this topsy-turvy whirl of emotions, she says. “Parenting is emotional work because we love our children so much,” said Patty. “Most parents have never felt that intensity of love before their first child. They would do anything for them. It’s overwhelming.”

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What is a Listen Book Club? Tools, Clubs and Classes at Hand in Hand

Dear Hand in Hand Parenting I read Patty and Tosha’s book LISTEN recently and found it really useful. I’ve been trying out some of the tools at home and have seen some big differences. My son loves special time, and is much more content now that we are in the regular habit of spending this time

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