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17 Kind Ways To Say No To Your Child

On Setting Limits Juliet looked at her mom, her hands already on the paint pot. “Mama? Can we paint some more. Please?” Her mom, tired and in the middle of signing a school memo, looked at her daughter and sighed. … Continue reading

Setting Limits: The Hard No

You know about setting warm limits: Moving in calmly when you need to stop a behavior, but what happens when it feels like there is no chance to keep calm? Like, your child is about to stick their finger in … Continue reading

Setting Limits as a Family

I was just reflecting on how much progress my family has made with the listening tools. Yesterday, I was working late, and my au pair (from Mexico) was eating dinner with my children and getting them ready for bed. The … Continue reading

Setting Limits at Dinner Time

One Saturday, we took our family to a club with an outdoor swimming pool. My step-daughter loves swimming and my son is starting to enjoy it more.  There were two beautiful outdoor pools, a water slide, and a hot tub … Continue reading

Setting Limits about Food

This morning my daughter had a tantrum because I didn’t give her as much maple syrup as she wanted. She declared she wasn’t eating breakfast and threw herself into some angry crying. I quieted my mind that wanted to argue … Continue reading

Setting Limits after a Playdate

It was one of those necessary limits that we parents set every day and I liked the process as it didn’t build up tension in him or in myself, instead, it diffused it. I didn’t resort to threats or bribes, and I didn’t raise my voice. It made us close and playful. Continue reading

Setting Limits with Love and Connection

Occasionally he would slow down enough to look over his shoulder to make sure I was with him. I’d say, “Yes, I’m still here. I love you. You can be as mad as you need to be and I’m going to stay with you.” The he’d keep on ‘running’. I have to admit it was hard not to chuckle at how sweet he was, with his little arms pumping away trying to get as far away from me as he could. Continue reading

Loving the Candy (Setting Limits at Halloween)

My 7-year-old daughter, M, returned home from trick-or-treating this Halloween with a bag of candy that weighed at least 5 pounds. In past years, she would eat a few pieces of candy Halloween night, we would put the bag up away from the dogs, and then she could choose a piece each night after dinner. She would forget it was there after a couple of nights, and then we’d bring the rest into work for the office candy bowl. It didn’t quite work that way this year though. Continue reading

Setting Limits Around Buying Stuff

We had all been excited about watching the Olympic torch run past our house. My 6-year-old son had been particularly excited about it, as he had been working on the Olympics at his school and was interested in the topic. … Continue reading