n emotional project is a set of persistent feelings or behaviors that come up for your child again and again. When the same feeling or behavior is triggered many times in somewhat similar situations (like always hating to go to school or daycare, or always becoming aggressive if other children crowd too close), it indicates that there’s a big hurt under the surface. To heal that hurt, you’ll need to listen many times to the same big feelings—“You don’t care about me!” or “It’s not fair! It’s never fair!” As your child cries or rages and you listen with care, the two of you together will drain that big hurt, and change your child’s overall outlook on life and on his relationship with you.
Has your child ever lashed out and hurt someone? Have you had to deal with biting, hitting, pulling hair? Has another aggressive child ever bothered your child? If your answer is yes then join the crowd! It’s a shock to … Continue reading
Of course we parents worry that if we show warmth and even humour when a child is acting aggressively, he won’t learn to govern his behaviour. This concern is rooted in the idea that the child who lashes out is choosing to do so. In fact, the child who hits out feels trapped an emotional corner, and is in what Patty Wipfler calls an “emotional emergency.”
We’ve all been there. We reach the end of our rope and then the yelling starts, and the threats. Afterward, we may promise ourselves this won’t happen again, we’ll be calmer next time, but then the next time comes, often … Continue reading
Sok 1-3 év közötti kisgyerek esik át harapós időszakon. Megharapják anyát, apát vagy egy másik gyereket, és ezzel nem kis aggodalmat keltenek. Ennek a viselkedésnek semmi köze sincs ahhoz, hogy egy gyerek mennyire jó, vagy mennyire jók a szülei. Viszont … Continue reading
How can I help my child stop hitting his siblings?
It’s not helpful for children, or for us, to be taught that others are bad. It disempowers us. If others are “bad,” then they have a condition we can’t help them with. We have to defend ourselves against a force that we can’t see or influence. This view is far more empowering: it is hurt people who hurt people. Continue reading
Listen to this free presentation to learn the causes of your child’s aggressive impulses and understand what is happening for them when the impulse to hurt others takes over. Join Certified Parenting by Connection instructors Kathy Gordon and Kirsten Volk … Continue reading
Does your toddler suddenly haul back and hit you in the midst of a sweet and playful time together? Or does he impulsively smack other children, even his own siblings? If so, let me reassure you that you haven’t failed … Continue reading