Of course we parents worry that if we show warmth and even humour when a child is acting aggressively, he won’t learn to govern his behaviour. This concern is rooted in the idea that the child who lashes out is choosing to do so. In fact, the child who hits out feels trapped an emotional corner, and is in what Patty Wipfler calls an “emotional emergency.”
Parents have full and busy lives. It’s easy to become stressed and overwhelmed with the tasks for our day and easier still to want to move at lightning speed to “just get it done.” Yet, the more we try to push through our day, while dragging our kiddos along, the more we set the stage for a meltdown after we’ve left the house.
These are simple practical things that will help when your toddler hits. Continue reading
Angie was unhappy. Her mommy and daddy had brought her and her baby sister to a playtime at the Junior Museum. There was just one other child there, Nora, who was, like Angie, three years old. They had been playing … Continue reading
When we decide to bring a second child home, we long for those siblings to be good friends. Or we at least hope to avoid siblings fighting all the time so we can get some quiet moments to ourselves. But … Continue reading
The kinds of consequences we parents favor depend on the culture we’ve grown up in, but we’re all pretty well convinced, when we start out, that a parent needs to exact consequences for a child’s unthinking moments.
Even when we parents have made a conscious decision not to be harsh with our children, reprimands roll all too easily out of our mouths. When their behavior triggers feelings for us, those feelings make us forget that our children are good. That they are built to get along with others, have fun, try new things, and laugh with their friends. We forget that on most days, they’ll also have moments when they can’t act in concert with the best in their nature, just like we do. Continue reading
Almost all children at one time or another lash out at others – whether it be hitting, biting, kicking, scratching or hurling blocks. It’s tempting to think that we need to teach them that such behavior is not acceptable.
Biting! Hitting! Pulling hair! Has your child ever lashed out and hurt someone? Has another aggressive child ever bothered him? If your answer is yes, join the crowd! Almost all of us struggle with understanding and helping our children when … Continue reading
A pair of six year old girls, teasing each other in the car on the way home from school. Oh joy, that’s my idea of a fun drive home. “You’re mean.” “I don’t like you.” “Blah, blah, blah, blah.” “Mommy, … Continue reading