What parent hasn’t wished she could clone herself into an army of expert cuddlers, caregivers, lap holders, child carriers, diaper changers, housekeepers and taskmasters? How many times can we say, “There is only one of me”? We want to love, nurture and connect with our children, while at the same time supporting their healthy development, and also managing our responsibilities of putting the groceries away, cooking dinner, living in an organized house, maintaining relationships with the neighbors, driving the kids around… the list goes on. How can there ever be enough of us to go around? Continue reading
Q. Do you have any tips on helping 2-year-old twins who tantrum at the same time and very, very often? Most of the time I’m the only one there to listen and it just doesn’t seem like it’s enough! A. … Continue reading
When we decide to bring a second child home, we long for those siblings to be good friends. Or we at least hope to avoid siblings fighting all the time so we can get some quiet moments to ourselves. But … Continue reading
A pair of six year old girls, teasing each other in the car on the way home from school. Oh joy, that’s my idea of a fun drive home. “You’re mean.” “I don’t like you.” “Blah, blah, blah, blah.” “Mommy, … Continue reading
In “It’s Mine! All About Sharing,” we looked at the “I’ll be with you while you wait” policy that helps children when they find themselves in competition for toys or attention. Now, we’ll turn to the subject of how you … Continue reading
When children want something, their feelings are often passionate. They can be gripped by a desire so strong that no other option will do. Every cell in their bodies is organized to communicate that having the blue shovel or the green balloon is the key to their happiness—a yellow shovel or a red balloon simply won’t do. But as any parent who has tried to enforce sharing knows, taking turns at those moments is far easier said than done.
Our children’s squabbles restimulate lots of old feelings in us, so that it’s often hard for us to intervene without causing more hurt. We need listening time to help us work through our frustrations and our fears about their upsets they have. We need a chance to release the feelings that rise in us when the fighting starts. Continue reading
Those feelings of sibling rivalry can be lifted by a few important strategies which, employed early and often, can clear the way for rich, playful, and loving relationships between children. Since these strategies are not the typical, “Don’t do that or I’ll send you to your room” approach, they are challenging to use. But the results they bring over time are deeply rewarding. Continue reading