Category: Parenting

Why Won’t My Partner Open Up?

Do you find yourself pushing your feelings down because your partner always seems to tense up and over react when you try and tell him? Are you worried to ask your partner his feelings because he clamps down, and you feel like you never get anywhere? You aren’t alone. While more women than ever are

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Sharing the Love: 6 Ways to Love Valentine’s As A Family

Before the diapers and the laundry, the meal-planning and the playdate planning, there was actual time for Valentine’s Day. Way back then pre-children, time spent counting cards and arranging grand romantic gestures was special. Now, it might feel enough just to make it to the sofa at the end of the day with a glass of

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How Closer Connection Created a Calmer Classroom

I work as a learning assistant in a large comprehensive school supporting children who have a variety of special educational needs. One of the most challenging is an English class with 13 and 14 year olds. About ten children really struggle to engage or focus. One girl in particular has a reputation for being very

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How I Turned off My Emotional Alarms (and got some rest)

I have a weekly appointment with a Listening Partner and I know that this scheduled time helps me work deeply on topics that feel heavy to me in my family life. But it happens quite regularly that during a week various different situations might awaken strong feelings and I feel a great amount of parenting stress.

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How Listening to My Angry Son Helped Us Connect

I have been trying to figure out respectful and efficient ways of supporting my six years old unload his negative emotions for a few years. It’s been very hard, even more, because there is no such struggle for me with my two other kids. He is my eldest son and he has a lot of pent-up,

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16 Questions You Can Use To Help Heal Family Tensions

  Listening Time  There’s nothing like raising kids to bring tension into a family. Right from pregnancy it can seem like every decision you make comes under scrutiny, and then feeding, sleeping, schooling, behavior and discipline draw opinions and comparisons. Straying from the parenting path your parents used to raise you can bring up all

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Does My Child Read Too Much?

Dear Hand in Hand, My daughter’s school is really pushing reading. They constantly say how reading opens the world and makes for a more ready and open learner. I’ve always thought I was quite lucky because my 7-year-old girl just loves to read. She’ll read upside down on the couch, in the car on the

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How Staylistening at Drop-Off Can Relieve Separation Anxiety

Since he started kindergarten, my middle son has occasionally cried, clung to me and asked me not to leave. His separation anxiety would last for two or three days in a row and I felt quite sad about it and helpless about supporting him. All I could think to do was to extract myself with as

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26 Picture Books That Reinforce Connection-Based Parenting Ideas

Books can be a warm route into moments of connection. If your child is facing issues, from separation anxiety, to tantrums or sibling rivalry, snuggling up with a relevant book can be a great way for both of you to connect and explore what’s happening, in words or simply in unspoken comfort. Your child might see

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Games For Parents That Are Too Tired to Play

Dear Hand in Hand, Since the new year, i’m trying to play more with my children. We’ve been playing lots of hide and seek and roughhousing, and it feels great most of the time, but sometimes I’m just too tired to play! I read your recent post about triggers that might be holding me back from

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When Your Family Doesn’t Like How You Parent

My three-year-old daughter is used to being listened to and being allowed to voice her opinion. However, this was near unacceptable to my mother. Since my mother often takes care of her (thank you, mum) while I am working, the differences can get difficult. When my daughter expresses her unease, my mother generally makes comments

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When Your Child Doesn’t Want Special Time

A guest Post by Kate Orson Special Time, one of Hand in Hand’s Five Parenting tools, is a wonderful way to deepen your connection with your child, to build the safety they need to tell us their feelings. This 1-1 time following your child’s lead is something all children crave, and they will usually embrace

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Bumper Guide to Calmer Parenting

  Welcome to Your Guide to Calmer Parenting! If you’ve caught yourself yelling at, bribing or threatening your child more times than you’d like, this Toolkit will help you find new, calmer ways to deal with your parenting challenges. You’ll find ways to help yourself and your child, using play and laughter, gentle words and

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When Your Angry Child Won’t Cry

You pick your pre-schooler up from a playdate and you can tell things have not gone well. Your son is cranky and disagreeable from the minute you say hi. Then he refuses to get in the car, he’s angry and begins kicking and screaming. By the time you get home, you know that something has

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Permission to Feel Sad This Holiday Season

Three years ago on Christmas morning, I started crying. My grandmother had died a month earlier and I was spending Christmas with my in-laws. Suddenly I felt bad as if I had abandoned my own family. My husband got upset too, I could see that he was feeling unhappy that I was suddenly wanting to

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