Category: Setting Limits

Helping My Daughter Sleep in Her Own Bed

When my daughter was around two, I was ready for her to move to her own bed. I knew helping children sleep in their own beds could be challenging, and I wanted the transition to be as easy as possible for her, so I thought naptime, instead of bedtime, would be the best way to slowly introduce this idea.

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When I Grow Up Will You Recognize Me?

When my son was 4 he went through a period when he was very resistant to getting dressed. It didn’t matter if he was dressing himself or if I offered to help him, it was a struggle every morning. Over the course of a few weeks I attempted all sorts of play to try to

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Setting Limits after Dinner

What a gift setting limits with children can be when the limit is set with lots of warmth and patience for our child to go through the process of releasing their upsets.

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Setting Limits Around Sleep Struggles

The night before last, my three-year-old, awoke at 4:30 am crying and very scared. He kept asking, “Is someone gonna come?” He had watched Kung Fu Panda with us earlier that day, a movie that he’s seen many times and likes, but this time it seemed to get to him–at least subconsciously. I had gone

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Setting Limits at Dinner Time

One Saturday, we took our family to a club with an outdoor swimming pool. My step-daughter loves swimming and my son is starting to enjoy it more.  There were two beautiful outdoor pools, a water slide, and a hot tub cool enough for kids.  We had a lovely day. On the way home, my son

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How to Enjoy Piano Practice

Since that evening, he has practiced piano most every day, sometimes starting on his own, other times with my encouragement, which had never worked before. Piano practice did not feel like a dreaded chore any more. Something was lighter. I could tell that my son was playing because he liked it and he wanted to.

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When Your Child Only Wants Mommy

It was time for The Bedtime Routine. It had been decided that it was Dad’s turn for books, snuggles, and tuck-ins. When I tried to give my son a hug and pass him off to his dad in the rocking chair, he clung to me and started to fuss. I dramatically pulled him back from my husband’s arms and said playfully, “No, no, you CAN’T have my baby! He’s mine, MINE!!”

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Overcoming Stage Fright with Stay Listening

The evening before my 7-year-old daughter had her audition for a community theater production, she asked me, “Why do I have to go to the audition?” I reminded her that she had enjoyed her theater experience the previous year and had wanted to sign up for this year’s show. Her tone instantly became more strident:

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Setting Limits Around Buying Stuff

We had all been excited about watching the Olympic torch run past our house. My 6-year-old son had been particularly excited about it, as he had been working on the Olympics at his school and was interested in the topic. He was keen to get out onto the road and was concerned we might miss

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Listening to Tears Before School

One morning while clipping my daughter’s nails I made the comment, “Oh, I think I clipped that one too short.” It wasn’t a big deal at first since it didn’t hurt. (If I hadn’t of said anything my daughter wouldn’t have noticed.) But after a minute or two it became the perfect pretext for her

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Not Liking Her Father’s New Partner

I told my daughter that another parent from her school would be taking her into school that day because we carpool. She was upset and cranky about it for 45 minutes, and wanted me to take her instead. I held the limit and told her that the other parent would take her in that day

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My Children’s Limbic Radar Picking Up My Extra Attention

I recently attended the Hand in Hand Weekend Retreat and wanted to report on what happened upon my return home.  The retreat was wonderful. I was surrounded by beautiful redwoods, had fabulous meals prepared for me, and got a much needed break from full time mommyhood. I got to spend time with other parents who

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Setting Limits with Candy and Care

My husband, daughter, and I were on our way out the door to go to my daughter’s little tot swimming class. My husband had given my daughter a few pieces of candy in the house before we left. While we were getting in the car, she said she wanted more candy. I set the limit

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Nighttime Farting Dissolves Tension

After a weekend together, my husband and I were putting our kids to bed.  The lights were out, but my 5-year-old was not settled; he was making a raspberry noise.  This annoyed his brother, my 9-year-old, who shouted, “Be quiet! Stop that noise!” We tried, “your brother is asking you, please stop.”  But nothing seemed

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Facing Water Fears Through Play

My son had been going to swimming lessons for a few months.  His first 2 months he improved markedly each week, trying new things and being comfortable in the water.  He would allow his teachers to guide his head under the water when swimming from one are to another, but would never do it voluntarily

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Special Time Solves School Struggles

…when I reminded him about the book report, he went to sit in front of the report but showed no sign of working on it. I had to go away to take care of my younger one for a minute, thinking that he might not be able to finish his homework.

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Setting Limits with Love and Connection

Occasionally he would slow down enough to look over his shoulder to make sure I was with him. I’d say, “Yes, I’m still here. I love you. You can be as mad as you need to be and I’m going to stay with you.” The he’d keep on ‘running’. I have to admit it was hard not to chuckle at how sweet he was, with his little arms pumping away trying to get as far away from me as he could.

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School Success Through Staylistening

I kept listening to my children because I saw their positive transformation and because we felt closer even though it wasn’t easy to do. I kept listening because I gradually remembered and worked on my childhood and came to think I would have liked it if I had been listened to back then.

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