Category: Setting Limits

3 Tools To Stop The Hitting

Odd as it may seem, a child hitting means that child is afraid. To help them stop hitting, it’s helpful to understand that the fears that cause trouble for a child who hits usually have their roots in some frightening experience earlier in life, even though they may not seem frightened at all. To manage

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Ending Power Struggles with Children

Sooner or later in our lives as parents, we find ourselves locked in a power struggle with our child. It can happen over being fed with a spoon when a baby is just a year old. It can happen over getting dressed in the morning, over brushing teeth, and over going to bed. Our children, like

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Potty Talk and Body Glee

Many little boys I have known, and many girls too, go through a long phase during which they love to use body words and potty words to shock people, and to laugh and laugh. This is normal. It happens all over the world. So if your child is using potty words, fasten your seat belt for

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Playdates 101: Helping Children Get Along

Playdates can be great adventures for our children, and be a nice break for us as parents. But it’s important to establish some policies ahead of time to ensure the children will get along. When you and your child join or set up a play group, or get together with other families, it helps to

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“I Want It Now!” Children’s Wants and Needs

We deal with wants and needs from our babies’ earliest moments through their entry into young adulthood. We have to figure out what our children’s real needs are, and what to do when they want instant gratification or things they don’t need or can’t have. And we have to deal with our own feelings of sadness, frustration, or anger about how much they need and want.

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Helping Children with Aggression

Biting! Hitting! Pulling hair! Has your child ever lashed out and hurt someone? Has another aggressive child ever bothered him? If your answer is yes, join the crowd! Almost all of us struggle with understanding and helping our children when they hurt others, and when they are hurt by other children. It’s a shock to

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Helping Children with Tantrums and Emotional Moments in Public

Your child needs you to set kind, sensible limits and to have you close to them while they burst out with the intense feelings they have. This spilling of feelings, together with your kind attention and patience, is the most effective way to speed your child’s return to their sensible, loving self.

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What’s the Cure for Whining?

If we wanted to make a list of things that irritate parents, we’d find children whining near the top! It’s a behavior that every child tries sooner or later. Some children fall into whining and can’t seem to climb back out. By the time a parent decides to search for advice about handling whining, he

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Why Listening Works

A pair of six year old girls, teasing each other in the car on the way home from school. Oh joy, that’s my idea of a fun drive home. “You’re mean.” “I don’t like you.” “Blah, blah, blah, blah.” “Mommy, Ella is teasing me! She’s saying ‘blah, blah, blah, blah!’” It’s enough for any sane

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no thumb pacifier

No More Thumb! No More Pacifier!

We adults have lots of ways to distract ourselves from feeling a little off base. We jiggle our feet, chew on a pencil, snack and snack again, read the paper, or sneak in a bit of computer solitaire. Some of us turn to nicotine or caffeine, or to other habits that we know aren’t good

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Embracing Transitions: How Connection Helps

Q: I feel badly about this, but sometimes I hesitate to really get down and play with my daughter, because when I have to stop playing and tend to the baby, she gets so upset. How can I keep from hurting her feelings? —a mother of a baby and a four-year-old A: It’s healthy and

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When They’re Hell-Bent on Misbehaving

When our children are unreasonable, they are asking for our help. They need us to set limits for them. They also need to know that we care about them. It’s our caring that puts them back on track again.

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Don’t Take That Tone With Me!

Punishment, criticism, or time out will just intensify the distance between you and your child. Children’s minds don’t abide emotional distance. They are built for a sense of warm connection. It’s the sense of distance (not just the behavior that signals the distance) that’s the underlying problem. Here’s how you can bridge it.

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setting limits young children

Setting Limits with Young Children

Parents can set limits on our children’s behavior in order to help them relieve the stress they are under, and regain their innate good judgment and joy in cooperation. Setting limits with Young Children takes a bit of practice. When you think your child is being unreasonable, here are the steps to follow.

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A Shark Attack on my Child’s Feelings

I took my boys, 6 and 7, to the Museum of Natural History to see a 3D movies about marine dinosaurs. The youngest is especially sensitive to traumatic events in movies and games, so I had checked that the movie’s rating was age-appropriate. However, instead of having an impersonal nature movie, the plot was a

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