Category: Setting Limits

Setting Limits Around Buying Stuff

We had all been excited about watching the Olympic torch run past our house. My 6-year-old son had been particularly excited about it, as he had been working on the Olympics at his school and was interested in the topic. He was keen to get out onto the road and was concerned we might miss

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Listening to Tears Before School

One morning while clipping my daughter’s nails I made the comment, “Oh, I think I clipped that one too short.” It wasn’t a big deal at first since it didn’t hurt. (If I hadn’t of said anything my daughter wouldn’t have noticed.) But after a minute or two it became the perfect pretext for her

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Not Liking Her Father’s New Partner

I told my daughter that another parent from her school would be taking her into school that day because we carpool. She was upset and cranky about it for 45 minutes, and wanted me to take her instead. I held the limit and told her that the other parent would take her in that day

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My Children’s Limbic Radar Picking Up My Extra Attention

I recently attended the Hand in Hand Weekend Retreat and wanted to report on what happened upon my return home.  The retreat was wonderful. I was surrounded by beautiful redwoods, had fabulous meals prepared for me, and got a much needed break from full time mommyhood. I got to spend time with other parents who

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Setting Limits with Candy and Care

My husband, daughter, and I were on our way out the door to go to my daughter’s little tot swimming class. My husband had given my daughter a few pieces of candy in the house before we left. While we were getting in the car, she said she wanted more candy. I set the limit

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Nighttime Farting Dissolves Tension

After a weekend together, my husband and I were putting our kids to bed.  The lights were out, but my 5-year-old was not settled; he was making a raspberry noise.  This annoyed his brother, my 9-year-old, who shouted, “Be quiet! Stop that noise!” We tried, “your brother is asking you, please stop.”  But nothing seemed

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Facing Water Fears Through Play

My son had been going to swimming lessons for a few months.  His first 2 months he improved markedly each week, trying new things and being comfortable in the water.  He would allow his teachers to guide his head under the water when swimming from one are to another, but would never do it voluntarily

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Special Time Solves School Struggles

…when I reminded him about the book report, he went to sit in front of the report but showed no sign of working on it. I had to go away to take care of my younger one for a minute, thinking that he might not be able to finish his homework.

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Setting Limits with Love and Connection

Occasionally he would slow down enough to look over his shoulder to make sure I was with him. I’d say, “Yes, I’m still here. I love you. You can be as mad as you need to be and I’m going to stay with you.” The he’d keep on ‘running’. I have to admit it was hard not to chuckle at how sweet he was, with his little arms pumping away trying to get as far away from me as he could.

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School Success Through Staylistening

I kept listening to my children because I saw their positive transformation and because we felt closer even though it wasn’t easy to do. I kept listening because I gradually remembered and worked on my childhood and came to think I would have liked it if I had been listened to back then.

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A Little Listening Cleared Up the Vision

A sweet 9-year-old student whom I tutor came in the other day in a somewhat low-key mood.  He got ready to do the math that I had planned for him.  We were working on calculating the area of various shapes that had combinations of triangles, rectangles, and circles.  When I started showing him the first

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Roughhousing Helps My Daughter with Math

The math work itself wasn’t too hard, only the tension she was carrying made it seem too difficult. By allowing her to take the more powerful position in our play she was able to work through the tension so it could dissolve and her intelligence could flow again.

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Listening to My Sons Helps Them Share

My three-year-old and I had a Special Time during my older son’s piano lesson.  When it ended and was time to pick my older son up, my younger son asked if he could get stickers also.  His brother gets stickers at the end of a piano lesson.  I said casually, “Okay let’s go in and

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How I Helped My Son Stop Biting

Resolving the biting issue was a priority over other jobs I had, and I rationed my energy and attention to deal with his new aggression. I reduced the time I spent on my household work (I did very minimum vacuum cleaning, dish washing and cooking!) to stay close by when my sons were together so I could reach in before things escalated.

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A Mom’s Open Response To Her Child’s Aggression

My older son, who was six, had been constantly on the edge for a few weeks. He let out his feelings by crying on weekends and then go back to school on Monday.  His first grade teacher told us that he would take a long time on each school task, and sometimes couldn’t finish. I

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