Cheng Imm Tan

Hand in Hand Certified Instructor

As an ordained minister, certified personal coach and counselor, Cheng Imm Tan has taught and supported hundreds of people to effectively achieve goals, overcome blocks and barriers to make their lives go better in the last 25 years

Cheng Imm who is originally from Malaysia has worked extensively with individuals and groups from diverse ethnic and cultural communities.  She is the founder of five enduring organizations in the Boston area that address women’s, immigrants, and other social justice issues and she has worked tirelessly as a community advocate.

She is a mother of a three year old daughter and a 9 year old son, both of whom are adopted from China.  Since becoming a parent, Cheng Imm has used the tools of Parenting by Connection to support and make things go well for her children and family.  She is a certified Parenting by Connection instructor, and is committed to bringing the tools of Parenting by Connection widely to parents, teachers and caregivers to create the conditions for children and families to thrive.  In addition to leading parent groups for parents in her local school district, she has brought the Parenting by Connection approach to childcare workers, teachers in training and offers a course on children’s brain, cognitive and social emotional development at a community college. You can connect with Cheng Imm at cit2288 at gmail dot com.

Here is what participants have to say after learning the  Parenting by Connection approach with Cheng Imm

Quotes from parents:

“My daughter and I are so much closer.  I know I would not have gotten here without this class.  My coping skills have increased because of listening partnership.  I can talk to my partner and I don’t have to unload on my child.”

“I have learned to listen to my children instead of simply expecting them to listen to me and that has made a huge difference”

“My daughter text me, she calls me and she tells me she loves me.  This would not have happened before.  I have learned to play and listen to her.”

“I did something I would have never done before.  I thought I knew why my daughter was upset, but I listened to her and let her get all her anger out.  After that, she was fine and she gave me a hug and kiss.”

“I have learned to be patient and to listen and I no longer yell at my child. “

“I talk to my listening partner every day.  When I am upset, I call her and get all my feelings out.  Then I feel so much better and I can figure out what to do next.”

“I am so stressed because I try to do my best in school and  I try to be a good wife, a good mother.  When I go home from this class, even my husband notices the change in me.  I am more relaxed and I can listen more.  My daughter now listens more to me.”

Quotes from teachers-in-training:

“Before this first part of Understanding Children's Brain Development seminar I never knew that crying is healing from stress and can help the brain to function effectively. Also, I never knew, from my experiences with my family and my kids, that making contact with a kid when he is crying let him feel that he is connected and safe. Many parents, when the child start crying, let him crying till he finishes and they don't listen to him so the child feel alone and unsafe and the brain will not develop and grow.

I thought the 1st part of the brain seminar was enlightening; which in many ways caused me to reflect & re-access some of my rearing techniques with my youngest son. Although I know/knew crying is the means for our “babies” to communicate, I've been of the mindset that after a certain age – crying should start to dissipate – as verbal language increases. To some extent, this new information has caused me to question that belief system.
I'm extremely eager to hear & learn more!”

Quotes from caregivers:

“Through this workshop, I realized I had a lot of the same experience and feelings when I was little as the little ones in my care.  Why can’t they cry?  Why can’t they express their feelings?  We as adults want kids to listen to us, but they also need us to listen to them.   Thanks for sharing and teaching us!”

“The way I learned to relate to kids is so different.  I am learning that kids have their own feelings.  I need to understand a child’s needs and help him build trust and safety, follow his interest and help him to be happy and learn.”

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