I am a qualified psychotherapist, a Certified Parenting by Connection Instructor and among other things an ‘Aussie’ living in London with my English husband and our daughter. I discovered Parenting by Connection soon after we adopted our daughter in 2011, age 2.
My husband and I found we were confronted by our daughter’s intense grief and fear. We knew we needed to provide our daughter with a therapeutic style of parenting; a style of parenting that would somehow be healing, whilst helping her feel safe and loved at the same time.
I found the Parenting by Connection listening tools to enable just that. When I started using the listening tools I experienced immediate results. The relationship with my daughter strengthened and though her off track behaviour was (and still can be) intense and challenging, it had context and I have come to see how she needs to get the ‘yukky’ feelings out! When I listen and give my daughter connection, she flourishes. Her outbursts are lessening in frequency and intensity.
What I hadn’t factored into my ideal of how I would parent, was how stirred up I would be by my daughters raw emotional outpouring, and how this would re-stimulate my own unresolved childhood traumas. This was on top being stressed to the max by the assessment process of becoming an adoptive parent. It was devastating. I floundered. It was a tipping point and I developed Post Adoption Depression.
Discovering Parenting by Connection was like being thrown a lifeline. In particular, the support provided through what are called Listening Partnerships. Parents supporting parents non-judgementally, enabling me to uncover my parenting potential, to offload tension and make peace when I stuff it up (human after all). I no longer feel isolated and alone.
This experience has led me to want to work with and support adopters, special guardians, foster carers and parents who may also be trauma survivors.
I am a founding member of We Are Family (WAF), a UK based adoption support community set up by parents for parents. I enjoy running parenting groups and help with my local WAF parent group. On a personal note; I enjoy being out in nature, getting creative with natural finds, colour and texture, journaling and dabbling with photography when I find the time
You can find me on:
- My Facebook Page
- Read about my experiences of parenting by connection on the Hand in Hand Parenting Blog
- Or email me at [email protected]
I am available for talks, workshops and individual consultations in person or by phone, and offer in person Parenting by Connection Starter classes in London, UK.