Surprise Cures For Arguing, Whining & Backtalk
Treating this verbal off-track behavior as defiance doesn't help it stop. Read on to learn what you can do instead.
Logic and negotiation are great skills for kids to possess. But when your child uses these “little lawyer” skills to try and get out of a limit you set, it can be compelling, convincing – and very draining.
One minute you are sure of yourself and your boundaries and the next you're second guessing. Or maybe you just want them to do as you asked and lose it when they don't.
If this back-and-forth conflicts resonates, this week's podcast is for you.
Emily and Kathy explain how very often this kind of arguing, backtalk and whining response is not at all rooted in true logic or reason – no matter how convincing it sounds.
Also, it isn't simply defiance.
In fact, surprise! This kind of response has more in common with tantrums and meltdowns. And when you can reach under the behavior to a child's true need, the backtalk and whining will shift.
Your child will show up more generous, cooperative and actually reasonable.
Listen in to this podcast and learn some surprise cures to shift whining, pushback, reasoning and negotiation – without being driven to your last nerve.
Tune In To Hear:
- Why whining, backtalk and even the most compelling negotiation is more like a tantrum or big cry than you might imagine.
- How to recognise when your child is really practicing their negotiation skills and the times when their feelings are driving a verbally aggressive response.
- Understanding where verbal offtrack behavior and verbal aggression comes from.
- But where's the “discipline”? Learn why these responses are connecting and effective, not permissive.
- Why your child doesn't even like responding like this!
- One way to test your child's signals to see if they are off-track.
- Why overfilling your child's real need can solve the backtalk.
- How a playful response can quickly shift offtrack verbal behavior
One Small Thing…
Every episode Kathy and Emily invite you to try one small thing with your family.
This week they ask you not to take the bait. Arguing, whining and backtalk can be very convincing! You will feel the tug to engage with your child – but don't. Simply repeat the limit, or even better, overfill their need, as Kathy suggests, or get playful, like Emily.
Mentioned In This Episode:
Don't Take That Tone With Me: Does your child's sassy tone leave you stumped about how to respond – as well as simmering with anger?
Read this post and delve deep into what kids hope to achieve by using these words, and ideas you can use to have it stop.
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