Tag: listening tools

Reach Out To Your Family Over the Holidays and Feel Better

Laura Minnigerode on Listening Partnerships During the winter holiday season, I often feel overpowered with emotions about the past. While I cherish memories of being with my family, I feel out of touch and alone. We are separated by thousands of miles and communication styles. It’s hard to reach out. The feelings hit hardest on the

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when staylistening doesn't go as planned

Staylistening Surprises: When Things Don’t Go As Planned

If you’ve discovered the simple and seemingly radical tool of Staylistening – of staying and listening through your child’s upset – you may have been amazed by how your child recovers from that tantrum or meltdown and returns to brightness and easy co-operate. Or, you may have not! Surprise! Staylistening doesn’t always go the way

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16 Questions You Can Use To Help Heal Family Tensions

  Listening Time  There’s nothing like raising kids to bring tension into a family. Right from pregnancy it can seem like every decision you make comes under scrutiny, and then feeding, sleeping, schooling, behavior and discipline draw opinions and comparisons. Straying from the parenting path your parents used to raise you can bring up all

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When a Listening Partnership Feels Like a First Date

A good friend of mine is following my work with Hand in Hand with great admiration, so one day I asked her if she’d be interested in doing a Listening Partnership. She said yes, but reluctantly, because she did not have too much information about it. Our first session went terribly! We couldn’t find any subject to

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How Can I Help My Child Offload Feelings of Hurt?

Q: My son is a very dynamic four-year-old. He is attached to me and has a younger two year-old brother. What I’ve noticed is that when we are doing Staylistening, he will sometimes rapidly control his emotions and improve his overall emotional state in such a way that he’s able to go back to normal

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How I Helped My Son Stop Biting

Resolving the biting issue was a priority over other jobs I had, and I rationed my energy and attention to deal with his new aggression. I reduced the time I spent on my household work (I did very minimum vacuum cleaning, dish washing and cooking!) to stay close by when my sons were together so I could reach in before things escalated.

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A Mom’s Open Response To Her Child’s Aggression

My older son, who was six, had been constantly on the edge for a few weeks. He let out his feelings by crying on weekends and then go back to school on Monday.  His first grade teacher told us that he would take a long time on each school task, and sometimes couldn’t finish. I

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Special Time Gets our Son to School

My husband and I took our sons to Tokyo. We stayed with my mother and had the boys go to a Japanese preschool for three-and-a-half weeks.  It was a great language and cultural immersion and bonding time for the family.  But it was a rough start, especially for my younger son, who was almost three.

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Lego Land Hokey Pokey

We picked the kids up from kindergarten and preschool one afternoon and drove straight to the airport.  Our four-year-old daughter noticed that we were not driving home, so we made the happy announcement, “Surprise!  We’re going to Lego Land.” Big mistake! Turns out, anything that has the element of surprise in it, was going to

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The Broken Vase

One evening when my son was about three, we had a big dinner party.  In all of the commotion a large vase broke.  My son was very close to the vase when it broke and he was tremendously startled by the loud crashing sound. He screamed in shock and terror, and cried long and hard.

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Special Time and Face Time

I had been having a harder and harder time carving out regular Special Time for my two sons.  During the day, when I am the only adult present, neither of them can stand to be alone while the other receives my warmth and attention.  I don’t blame them!  I tried to do Special Time in

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Giddy’up to Connection

One day I gave my 3 year old daughter a “horsey-ride” on my back. I’d done it many times before and she always enjoyed the closeness and bouncy thrill of the ride. However this day when I took her into the bathroom I was lowering her down and she slipped out of my hands and

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From Crabby To Cooperative

A few weeks ago I noticed that every time I asked my almost six year old son, Gabriel, to do anything he said, “No.” Well, in actuality he said, “No way, José!” very loudly. Like any normal mother I hoped this behavior would change. I hoped some more. And still more. Days went by before

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Try A Weekend of Special Time To Help Problem Behavior

Often times my son will walk by his siblings and push them down or punch them on their backs or yell in their faces. If they are doing something that irritates him, he will get extremely close and ball up his fists and visibly shake with anger.

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