My Child’s Crying Helped With A Major Accident
All in all, it was 8 hours of really hard crying, perspiration, and tears. I could smell his body odor—he worked up a heavy sweat.
All in all, it was 8 hours of really hard crying, perspiration, and tears. I could smell his body odor—he worked up a heavy sweat.
I thought, “No, we aren’t going to be able to handle a big upset right now!” so I got her to let him go, and we kept on pillowfighting and wrestling for a long time–10 or 15 minutes.
I moved us over to the couch and pulled him onto my lap and held him while he cried away all the cluttered emotions that were getting in his way.
My wife and I also had to process our feelings: it didn’t feel good to hear how painful it was for us to limit her social life in this way. She felt badly, we felt badly.
I talked about nail biting, how I feel about it, and how I feel about my sons doing it. It felt to me as if nail biting was one of those habits that was almost impossible to shake off. I felt that my sons were doomed to live with the habit for the rest of their lives.
I decided that we had to do some Special Time (whether we wanted to or not!)
I quickly grabbed a small notebook and pen, scribbled, “Dear Owen, I love you, Love Mommy” on a sheet of paper, and shoved it under the door.
Now, that it was time to brush teeth and go to bed, they were not in the mood.
After the listening time I began to think of how the teacher must feel. If she was calling the children crybabies, she must not be feeling very good herself.
I spent some “Special Time” with her, playing until we felt like we knew each other. Eventually, she told me that she wanted to stop sucking her thumb. I said that I would stay with her while she tried to think about taking her thumb out of her mouth, but that I wasn’t going to make her take it out.
I knew that she was judging herself harshly, and I wanted to see if she could work through it.
“Your head is hot,” he said. “You had a hard day. It must be hard taking care of three kids and yourself too.”
I normally listen to his big feelings when he brings an upset to me, using Staylistening in response to his cues. This time, I decided that I wanted to help him with both these issues because they affected our daily life, and because they weren’t getting better on their own.
Listening Tools have been so helpful for us.
My 12-year-old daughter was mad and sad about feeling ugly and fat this morning and focusing on her “flabby” tummy.