My daughter pretty much skated through first and second grade math, but now it’s getting a bit more challenging and she has to memorize her multiplication tables. This is not something she enjoys and she
This morning Brook, my mostly mild-mannered four-year-old, had a huge tantrum. We were just about to get in the car and join our friends on a hike. It all seemed to be going as planned
This morning my daughter had a tantrum because I didn’t give her as much maple syrup as she wanted. She declared she wasn’t eating breakfast and threw herself into some angry crying. I quieted my
It was one of those necessary limits that we parents set every day and I liked the process as it didn’t build up tension in him or in myself, instead, it diffused it. I didn’t resort to threats or bribes, and I didn’t raise my voice. It made us close and playful.
I’ve been working with Cynthia on learning how to build a solid foundation through working with my daughter rather than trying to control her.
This was my first experience with Stay Listening and I loved it! No need to say the right thing, counsel, negotiate, or give advice. Being present, listening, and trusting my son’s emotional processing – this felt right!
I sat there thinking how Mother’s Day was an hour away, I would be getting up at 7 and driving to South San Francisco with my daughter and right now I am probably the absolute LAST person she wants to be with. Sigh. A Mother’s Day to look forward to.
Has your child ever lashed out and hurt someone? Has another aggressive child ever bothered him?
Given the morning conversation, I kept telling her that both mummy and daddy love her, that she was safe and that we would both continue to look after her.
I moved us over to the couch and pulled him onto my lap and held him while he cried away all the cluttered emotions that were getting in his way.
My wife and I also had to process our feelings: it didn’t feel good to hear how painful it was for us to limit her social life in this way. She felt badly, we felt badly.
We talked about holding hands crossing the road and I pointed out the safe places for him to ride on his own. That was good for awhile.
I have been working on how to wait when someone else has something my son wants. It all started with hoping to teach my son how to share and play with other kids without my son hitting. Someone would have something he wanted or other way around. So, I have learned to stay close to help him during these times and hold the limit.
Take some time to write down your success stories and when you’re having a rough day pull them out and remember what a good parent you are.
The next time I saw him on tippy toes, with a worried look on his face, I moved towards him and put my arms around him. I said “Hey mate, it looks like you need to do a poo. I’m going to help you”. That was all he needed to start crying – he fought hard against me as he cried, “No, No, NO! I don’t want to.”