I had often heard that Special Time can be used by our children as a way to explore things that are normally off limits with our approval, and I experienced this recently with my four-year-old son. He had been “experimenting” with the soap in the bathroom for a while. By this I mean he was
Early one morning, my daughter began to be aggressive in her play with her younger brother. She was insisting that he play with her, and on her terms. He was doing his best to tell her no, but it wasn’t getting through. The situation was escalating, and quick.
By Ravid Aisenman Abrahmsohn I was reminded recently just how much children tell us when we listen – through good times and bad. One family in my Skill Building group has a five- year-old son and a four-month-old daughter. The parents have been practicing the Hand in Hand Tools for 8 months now, and have been
Right before the family arrived I sent out a second email with a small description of Special Time. By the end of the three days everyone had spent time with the girls!
My 7-year-old daughter, M, returned home from trick-or-treating this Halloween with a bag of candy that weighed at least 5 pounds. In past years, she would eat a few pieces of candy Halloween night, we would put the bag up away from the dogs, and then she could choose a piece each night after dinner. She would forget it was there after a couple of nights, and then we’d bring the rest into work for the office candy bowl. It didn’t quite work that way this year though.
Every night after dinner, around 7:30 pm I play with my daughter, 4, and my son, 2. They decide where we will play and what they want to do. They have been choosing to play on my bed lately. Before we start, I let them know that I am setting the alarm for 15 minutes.
“I am the Cabra Cabres. I’ll jump over you and cut you in three pieces!”
what seemed to make the most difference in our connection was the “mini” Special Time sessions that I did for five minutes — just five minutes! — before heading out the door for work, on the mornings she was awake before 7 a.m. No matter how late I was running, I could make time for five minutes of Special Time.
After the start of the second grade, I very quickly noticed some heavy struggles around homework come up. It was clear I was going to need to help my child with school. At the start of the year, my son’s second grade teacher gave all the parents special instructions for doing homework this year: set
As my son grows older the draw towards video games is getting stronger and stronger, and so is the family struggle over them. I started to notice the tension and frustration around video games increasing and began to set limits, but it did not seem to be quite enough. I would set a limit, and
Leah had returned from her dad’s house chock full of feelings—she seemed sullen and sad and had lost all enthusiasm about the party. I decided to help my daughter get in better emotional shape so that she would be able to enjoy our party.
My son and I had special time once a week for many years. He always wanted to do the same thing–go to the mall. We would play at the arcade, have an ice cream and come home. It seemed I was always struggling to get him to tell me more about his thoughts and feelings.
When my son was in college, he called me to tell me that he was dropping out of his math class because he did not understand it anymore and was going to fail. He said he would rather have an incomplete than a fail. I said, “How about neither?” and told him I would be
Talks and negotiations for candy and sweet treats in our house reached an all-time high in the weeks following the holidays and I grew weary of the asking, the begging and the whining. One day when my son asked me for “Just one more gelt,” I realized I was sick of rationing. I was done. I
I realize the important role a nanny plays in a child’s life; the effects of which–for better or for worse–will stay with the child for many years to come. But as I have seen with every nanny job I have had: I am that “bad” person who represents the replacement of their mommy. One of
My thoughts were consumed with how to be a good mum. I loved this important work, but I also missed my husband who sometimes seemed like a distant figure in my life.
When my two little cousins, ages three and one-and-a-half, came to live with me for several months, I learned that sometimes the adults they came in contact with were not that thoughtful about how to connect. This was true of one of my neighbors, who would say things to the children that often provoked an
My 11-year-old son usually wants to pillow fight or sword fight during his special times with me. He told me recently, “I like it when we talk, too,” which is just what happens. As we wrestle and play and have fun, he tells me what’s going on at school, with his friends, and whatever is