Tag: Special Time

Screen Time Becomes Connection Time

As my son grows older the draw towards video games is getting stronger and stronger, and so is the family struggle over them. I started to notice the tension and frustration around video games increasing and began to set limits, but it did not seem to be quite enough. I would set a limit, and

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Silencing Myself Opened My Son Up More Than Ever

My son and I had special time once a week for many years.  He always wanted to do the same thing–go to the mall.  We would play at the arcade, have an ice cream and come home.  It seemed I was always struggling to get him to tell me more about his thoughts and feelings.

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Begging for Halloween Candy: One Awesome Solution

Talks and negotiations for candy and sweet treats in our house reached an all-time high in the weeks following the holidays and I grew weary of the asking, the begging and the whining. One day when my son asked me for “Just one more gelt,” I realized I was sick of rationing. I was done. I

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Confessions of a Parenting by Connection Nanny: Part II

I realize the important role a nanny plays in a child’s life; the effects of which–for better or for worse–will stay with the child for many years to come. But as I have seen with every nanny job I have had:  I am that “bad” person who represents the replacement of their mommy. One of

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Helping a Neighbor to be More Thoughtful Around Young Ones

When my two little cousins, ages three and one-and-a-half, came to live with me for several months, I learned that sometimes the adults they came in contact with were not that thoughtful about how to connect. This was true of one of my neighbors, who would say things to the children that often provoked an

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Talking While Pillow Fighting

My 11-year-old son usually wants to pillow fight or sword fight during his special times with me. He told me recently, “I like it when we talk, too,” which is just what happens. As we wrestle and play and have fun, he tells me what’s going on at school, with his friends, and whatever is

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Olive Oil and Band-aids: When Playing Stretches your Budget

In one of Patty Wipfler’s talks about Special Time, a question was asked by a mother about what to do if you child breaks something during rigorous play. Patty observed that sometimes children want to engage in experiments that might lead to something breaking or some other material resource being used up. She suggested that

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Facing a Fear of BIG Kids

When my daughter was a toddler & preschooler she struggled to be around groups of older children. One day when we went to a children’s museum it struck me just how small she looked next to the bigger kids there. She wanted to play with them, but their larger, fast moving bodies really overwhelmed her.

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My Children’s Limbic Radar Picking Up My Extra Attention

I recently attended the Hand in Hand Weekend Retreat and wanted to report on what happened upon my return home.  The retreat was wonderful. I was surrounded by beautiful redwoods, had fabulous meals prepared for me, and got a much needed break from full time mommyhood. I got to spend time with other parents who

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Nighttime Farting Dissolves Tension

After a weekend together, my husband and I were putting our kids to bed.  The lights were out, but my 5-year-old was not settled; he was making a raspberry noise.  This annoyed his brother, my 9-year-old, who shouted, “Be quiet! Stop that noise!” We tried, “your brother is asking you, please stop.”  But nothing seemed

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Monkeying Around with Conflict Resolution

This morning, my 2.5 year old son, Lucas, was playing with his monkey. The monkey has a noisemaker inside, and the battery inside the noisemaker was dying, making an unpleasant noise which Lucas didn’t like.  He tried to make it stop with his hands, but he couldn’t. We couldn’t do much about it because the noise

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In Trouble for Singing?

I was driving home with my husband and my  2.5-year old son. We were coming from a sweet evening with some friends of ours who have a son his age. The dinner was lovely, I had felt connected to my husband and the couple, and the boys had played well together. I was filled with a

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Sleeping in His Own Bed All Night

My son has co-slept with me since he was born.  When he was about 18 months old, I bought him his own bed with the plan to move him into it so I could have my bed to myself.  I tried getting him to stay there, but I could never make it work.  We had

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