About Us
At Hand in Hand, our specialty is helping parents nurture their connection with their children. Founded in 1989 by Patty Wipfler, we are a growing team of staff, instructors, consultants and volunteers who provide information and support to parents around the globe. Our administrative offices are in Palo Alto, California.
The Program
Booklets, talks, classes, workshops, support groups, distance learning, intensive training courses, and one-on-one consultations -- you name it, we've got it! You can schedule a customized class or talk, set up a consultation, join a class, or order literature, DVDs or CDs.
The Approach
Parenting by Connection approach, based on more than thirty-five years of work and research, builds healthy parent-child relationships that will last a lifetime. The tools parents learn build leadership at home and in their communities.
Listening Tools with Children
Special Time An adult sets aside a discreet period of time during which he will focus undivided attention on the child, fostering trust and closeness.
Playlistening The adult takes the less powerful role in play. Laughter and fun build children's confidence and help parents feel close, too.
Setting Limits The adult moves in to stop behavior that is hurtful or thoughtless, or holds out a reasonable expectation, without backing down and without hurtful actions toward the child. The adult stays and offers closeness, because listening and closeness will allow the child to offload hurt feelings, reconnect and think well again.
Staylistening The adult stays close to a child who is shedding emotions through crying, tantrums or raging. The adult listens and allows the child to express the feelings of hurt that have skewed his judgment. When the child is finished, he can feel the caring the adult has offered, and he can relax, learn, and play well again.
Listening Tools with Adults
Listening Partnerships Two parents take turns respectfully listening to the thinking, efforts, and feelings of the other. No advice is given and no analysis is made by the listener. Listening Partnerships give parents the chance to learn from their own experience and honor their own thoughts, feelings and goals. A regular Listening Partnership promotes parent leadership at home and in the community.
Parent Resource Groups A group of parents gathers, exchanges updates on their lives, and then offers respectful listening time to each member in turn. No advice is given and no analysis is made by any listener. What is said in the group is kept confidential. Groups help parents develop a strong sense of respect for themselves, for other parents, and for the vital work they do.
Parenting by Connection is based on the following assumptions:
- Connected children learn readily, love easily, and become true leaders.
- Connected parents build a support system that helps them solve problems and better enjoy the work of parenting.
- “Off track” behavior in children is a signal that they need closeness, connection and understanding, along with necessary limits.
- "Off track" behavior in parents signals the need for the support of a listener who appreciates how hard they try, and how much they want things to be better.
Hand in Hand is a 501(c) 3 non-profit organization. Donations are tax deductible.
View our 501(c) 3 determination (PDF).
