Hi, I’m Kris Kohlmann, I’m 46 (in 2024), and I’m the ND mom of two incredible ND kids (all of us are diagnosed with ADHD), a daughter, who is now 12, and a son, who is 9. I’m very passionate about parenting, brain science, and neurodivergence, and I’d love to support you on your parenting journey, whether you identify as neurotypical or somewhere on the spectrum of “not so much neurotypical”.
When I first became a mom, I knew all the ways I DIDN’T want to raise my kids and all the things I DIDN’T want to say and do. What I didn’t know was what to do instead.
I still had to get my kids to sleep. I still had to help them do the things they didn’t want to do but needed to do to be safe and healthy.
So, I did what any sane person would do, I asked the Internet. I got tons of easy steps to follow to get my kid to X. But most of them worked with coercion, threats, and punishments. And they didn’t sit well with me. They were not what I wanted for my kids.
Then, while desperately looking for advice around helping kids sleep, I stumbled across Hand in Hand Parenting. Even to my sleep-deprived brain what I read in the articles on their website sounded promising, so I took the self-taught class “Helping Children with Bedtime and Sleep”. And finally, I found something that deeply resonated! A way to parent my kids that respected their needs but also mine, and that was flexible enough to fit our family.
I read up on all the listening tools Hand in Hand Parenting had to offer and took the self-guided classes on setting limits, aggression, separation, and later, when my second child was born, sibling rivalry.
Admittedly I didn’t fully use all the tools Hand in Hand Parenting had to offer, all at once. I started with Staylistening and Setting Limits and I also tried Playlistening. I found Special Time more difficult and did my best approximation of high-quality one-on-one time with my kids. I also was reluctant to try the parent-support tool Listening Partnership. But already the difference these tools made was remarkable. We finally got some sleep, I had a much deeper relationship with my kids, they were cooperative, and when things got tough, my kids knew I’d be there, and they shared their deepest fears and sorrows with me.
Things were mostly good. But I still found myself to be reactive sometimes. To get angry at my kids and to say things I had never wanted to say. Especially once they got older and sibling rivalry became more of an issue. I got mad at myself. Why couldn’t I stop myself from getting spitting mad sometimes, even though I knew better?
And then I finally tried Listening Partnership and I can honestly say that it changed my life and probably saved my marriage.
With the help of my Listening Partners, I discovered the root causes behind my reactiveness in certain situations. I healed many old childhood wounds which allowed me to be far less reactive and more responsive. I stopped smoking just because I accidentally realized why I had started in the first place and with that knowledge somehow the need to smoke was suddenly gone. For the first time in my life, I build solid friendships and a network of support for myself. I learned to stand up for myself and my kids, to take care of my needs and theirs, and to have healthy boundaries.
Do we still have rough days? You bet we do! But my husband and I share a deep trust and confidence that no matter what life (or puberty) throws at us, we will know what to do and where to turn to for support, and we will get through it together. And my kids know that no matter what, we are always there.
I want you to experience this, too, and so I decided to become a certified Hand in Hand Parenting instructor – and I did.
Discovering Hand in Hand Parenting has helped us get to where we are and has changed our family in ways I can’t even describe. Let me help you discover it for yourself.