It was Friday, the last working day in a long week and frustrating things just kept happening. Some were to do with my family – like my son refusing to do his homework and some were to do with me – like not being able to publish my articles sooner.
The need to cry and release all these tensions was evident, but I just could not cry. And, in the meantime, I felt drained of all power, unable to enjoy my three kids or play with them.
I felt sick to my stomach, tired and edgy.
In Need of a Listening Partner
I called my Listening Partner, but she couldn’t answer her phone so I decided to take matters into my own hands. I went into my room and started shaking my body: my shoulders, my hands, my legs.
After 2 or 3 minutes a thought came to my mind: “Why does it have to be so hard?!!”
Why does it have to be so hard: to raise my children; to have a career; to feel good about myself; to make decisions.
I cried for about 10 minutes all the time repeating the sentence. “Why does it have to be so hard?”
Then I stopped crying. I thought I was all finished. But as I was leaving the room to go back to my kids, the phone rang.
It was my Listening Partner, calling me back.
I answer cheerfully and let her know she had just missed the opportunity to hear me cry.
“I’m sorry! I’m here now”, she said in a warm voice.
That was all I needed to burst into tears again. Her listening so warmly and emphatically gave me such a release. I let go of any feelings of shame, holding back or judgments and I just cried.
“You’re doing just fine! You do so much for your family! I’m so sorry it’s hard for you”, my Listening Partner kept repeating. I kept going, crying for another 15 minutes.
When my time was up I felt lighter and more relaxed. I was even able to joke about my state of mind.
It was exactly what I needed!
After that, I was able to go back to my kids and do half an hour each of Special Time with them both, make dinner and then play some more after that.
I continue to feel amazed at the healing power of Listening Partnerships. I can’t get enough of them. How about you?
- Download our guide to Listening Partnerships
- Join our self-guided class on Listening Partnerships and see how you can transform the relationships in your family.
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Irina discusses Listening partnerships on her bilingual Romanian-English site.