The Most Important Question To Ask When Your Child’s Behavior Gets Hard

Did you ever think you got this parenting thing figured out only to find your child brings home some new parenting challenge?

Happy daughter squeezing mom's face as she hugs her
  • Maybe they start shouting potty words at you, seemingly from nowhere?
  • Maybe they start throwing punches when normally they'd been fairly calm?
  • Or maybe things simple things that you ask them do suddenly brings on meltdowns, where before they'd do it without a struggle?

Where did the child you thought you knew so well go to?

In the quest to find solutions to this sudden new and disagreeable behavior, you head to friends to compare notes, you hit Google for answers, or you even seek the services of a professional.

After all, you want those words to stop, that aggression to fade, that resistance to disappear.

But what if you started with “Why?”

Why is your child so fascinated with hurtful words right now? Why does he or she have so much tension the only thing that angry words or angry actions seem to have become a default reaction? Why is having to hang a schoolbag so difficult now when just a few months ago it was a no-brainer?


This week Abigail and Elle respond to a mom who found surprising answers when she stopped asking her four-year-old to quit yelling and instead asked herself why the yelling was happening at all.

We highlight the gorgeous ways this mom used the Hand in Hand Parenting tools to delve deeper, and the beautiful way her daughter opened up and let her mom support her through what turned out to be some very difficult moments in her school life.

Listen to The Most Important Question To Ask When Your Child's Behavior Gets Hard and learn how to ask why effectively when you want to bring change.

For daily support from instructors, plus regular Q&A call-ins with them and our founder Patty Wipfler, join the Parent Club.

Family walking together contented and happy

stay connected

We’d love to hear about your parenting challenges. You can follow Hand in Hand on FacebookTwitterPinterest, and Instagram. Be sure to drop Elle and Abigail a message at [email protected]

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