Feelings that come up on Mother's day often stem from a deeper and almost forgotten place…
I don’t know about you but I was full of feelings when I woke up on Mother’s day.
I was feeling anxious that the day wouldn’t be special in any way and no one would give me that extra appreciation that I longed for.
You might tell me that I should give up these expectations, that’s it better to just not expect anything. But I find this kind of hard.
I hadn’t been awake for long when I spotted a Dad with his two small children passing my window. It was early and the children both had a bunch of flowers in their hands.
It made me cry when I saw them, I was touched that this Dad had taken his two little children to the shops to buy flowers for their Mum. I didn’t know this for sure but there was a pretty good chance my observation was correct.
I couldn’t even talk to my partner. I suddenly felt so angry with him. I knew that he hadn’t given Mother’s Day a single thought and that made me feel really angry.
I went upstairs to my room and sat by the door and cried. I longed to feel loved, appreciated and valued but I felt none of those. I felt FURIOUS at my partner for not making more of an effort.
I could hear him and my daughter downstairs laughing together. How dare they have so much fun together on Mother’s Day! They should be running around making things great for me.
I know, I know, expectations were rising…
I encouraged myself to go deeper. What was this pain bringing up from the past. Then it dawned on me. When I was a child I also longed to feel loved, appreciated and valued. Guess what? I didn’t – a lot of the time.
Once I had this realization, my crying got harder. I was releasing the pain from a long time ago. It felt good and healing. I felt better afterwards.
I was ready to go downstairs and face the music.
My daughter gave me a card she’d made at school. Inside it said ‘I love, you. You are such a good Mum. I love your smile and fun you bring to the house we live in’. My heart melted. This was exactly and everything I wanted. Right here.
My partner was making me a card. Inside he wrote that I am an exceptional Mummy. He also gave me a beautiful skirt that he’d bought.
The day was repaired and a small piece of my past was healed. I felt the love and appreciation and value that I so longed for.
I hope you had a happy Mother’s day too.
If you'd like to know more about how your past can trigger feelings today, listen to this free webinar How Parenting Triggers Past Hurts and What You Can Do About It.