Dave Cales, Certified Hand in Hand Parenting Instructor
Dave is a proud father of two grown men. He came to Hand in Hand looking for ways to rebuild his relationship with his sons after years of parenting them the only way he knew how: using punishment & shame in attempts to control their behavior. As he learned more about the Hand in Hand Parenting approach, and Listening Tools in particular, Dave realized that he needed to do some deep internal work. Growing up the Projects of Brooklyn, Dave learned that he had to not show any emotions to feel safe. With the help of Listening Partnerships with other parents, he began to embrace this new parenting approach, using his time and energy to really listen to his sons and give them the space to express themselves. Through the Hand Listening Tools, Dave’s relationship with his sons grew in ways he couldn’t have imagined possible.
As a full time minister who has worked closely with children and teenagers for 30 years, Dave began to see that the parents in his community wanted the same thing he wanted: support and tools to make parenting better. Motivated by his belief that in order to change the lives of children, parents must be supported, Dave decided to connect with the families in his church community. Doing this work, he saw firsthand how parents gravitated to feel connected and supported. That was enough motivation for him to pursue becoming a Hand in Hand Parenting Instructor in 2019.
In 2020, Dave helped to start and lead a semi-monthly support group for fathers around the world, which is still going strong. Over time, he began to hear about the positive changes in relationships between these fathers and their children. That’s when pieces started to fall into place, and Dave made the decision to dedicate all his efforts to supporting parents on their parenting journey. His goal is to bring the Hand in Hand tools and support to parents in the faith-based community so they can foster a closer relationships with their own children.
Dave currently lives in Florida, USA with his wife of 30 years, Daphne, and their labradoodle, Summer. He has two grown sons (DJ & Daniel) and a daughter-in-law (Paula). He lives by the quote, “Your greatest contribution to the kingdom of God may not be something you do but someone you raise.”