Special Time – A Double Bonus for Kids and Parents

It’s funny how a little Special Time with your child can do wonders for both you and your child.

One afternoon when I was feeling somewhat low-key with many pressing issues on my mind, my then 10-year-old preteen daughter asked me for some Special Time.  She wanted to wrestle with me.  I wasn’t quite ready to get out of my shell, but I went ahead and wrestled with her anyway.  She was terrific.  We both had a great time wrestling, in which she invariably got me down on the floor and reigned supreme!

After the wrestling, she decided that I was a bouncing machine and she bounced on top of me.  And then I was a rolling machine and she rolled on top of me.  She was a strong kid and it was hard to deal with the sheer physical force of it all.  But I was not fazed.  It was so much fun.  We laughed and laughed and laughed, literally rolling on the floor.  I was definitely out of my shell very soon and she too had a great time connecting with me.  We felt very close.

I had a pile of chores to do that afternoon: laundry and dog-poop-scooping!  For the first time ever, my daughter came with me to the backyard to help me clean up the poop.  Prior to this, her strong sense of smell had always come in the way of helping with this particular chore.  But this time, she was able to overcome her distaste enough to help me do it!  And right after that, she helped with all the laundry and we folded a lot of clothes together.

There was no question that the special time and laughter we had together had created a warm and connected space for her.  So much cooperation with so much fun and no nagging!  And I loved the double-bonus – it lifted my spirits too!

Messy Loud Real-Life ParentingDo you want more suggestions on how to use Special Time? Check out our free video series. In the first video, you’ll get a step by step guide to using Special Time and some fun examples of what it can look like. Get your videos now.

—Certified Parenting by Connection Instructor  Usha Sangam

Usha Sangam



1 thought on “Special Time – A Double Bonus for Kids and Parents”

  1. Awesome post. Isn’t it funny how when our kids enter those preteen/tween/middle school years, because of the typical changes in their behavior it seems like they don’t want to be with us, when the truth is, they really do not only need us, but still really do want to be with us and talk to us, etc. This is a beautiful example of that very truth. I’m very excited about a new book we’re reading that I think you might like, so I have to share. It’s called “MiddleSchool: The Inside Story- What Kids Tell Us, But Don’t Tell You,” by Cynthia Tobias and Sue Acuna. It has interviews and feedback from middle schoolers, parents and teachers (and a little humor) to help us deal with faith, purity, puberty, communication, independence, discipline and accountability, tackling social media, technology, Internet, gaming, and deepening and strengthening a positive, loving relationship. It’s so rich in valuable help as we face these transitional years with our kids. I think everyone with a middle schooler or who will have a middle schooler will benefit from it. I highly recommend it!

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