One of the problems with most sleep advice out there is it doesn’t focus on the major cause of sleep issues: the emotional struggles that our children go through. Upset feelings often bubble up to the surface in the evening or in the middle of the night. Feelings are often what makes it hard for babies, children (and adults too!) to fall asleep. Feelings cause waking in the night or waking too early in the morning.
Listening to children’s upsets whenever they occur, while giving lots of warmth and connection, can help them to release the feelings that cause sleep problems. Laughter can help, too.
Contrary to popular belief, we should actually wind our children up before
slee
p! Roughhousing, and lots of giggles, can help children release any stress or remaining tension from the day. It also helps to build the connection that children need to feel safe to separate from us and fall asleep.
So bring on the laughter! If your child runs a mile when you suggest it’s bedtime, then perhaps have a fun game of chase, letting them escape so they take on the more powerful role. Or try to dress them in their pajamas but ‘dress’ the pillow. Read their bedtime stories in a silly accent, or have the book upside down, and wonder why the words are coming out all wrong.
Put yourself to bed instead of your child. Each time you make a ‘mistake’ exclaim to your child about your confusion at how you just can’t seem to get it right. Repeat as long as you have the time, (or energy!) Don’t be afraid for things to get a little wild!
Laughter has been clinically proven to induce melatonin production, the sleep hormone, so with every giggle your child will be closer to sleep. Connection breeds cooperation so play and laughter can actually help to dissolve the power struggles we may get into at bedtime. So add a little laughter into your bedroom routine.
- Kate Orson is a Hand in Hand mom of one daughter, living in the UK.
Want more sleep tips? Our Helping Your Children with Bedtime and Sleep is designed to help you tackle all your sleep challenges.
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