Listening: One Simple Question that Blew My Mind


from the hand in hand blog(2)

By Anca Aurora Deaconu

It was getting late in the evening and I was exhausted. It was one of those days when ‘alone time' at my desk was a laughable idea,  a day when even a coffee break couldn’t be squeezed onto my to-do list. I was so overwhelmed. What I needed, what I craved more than anything that night was an escape.

I had no idea I was about to get just that.

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I had a window of ‘me time’ scheduled with a listening partner. Although I did wonder how one call could compare to my epic escape plans, I jumped right in, telling my partner how all I wanted right then was to be away and free from my nagging responsibilities.

Then she did something simple but amazing. She asked how I’d spend my time.

I was stuck for a second. My mind went blank.

“What do you see?” she prompted. I imagined myself taking this long, unhurried walk by myself. I made up the scene as it came into my mind: How I would find this one, perfect quiet spot, and just sit there, noticing everything around me.

“What would you see? Hear?” she asked. Again, I went into my mind. This time I sensed more.

A silent, rippling lake. The chill of the rock where I sat. The rustle of a bird as it flew from a branch swinging above me. A cool breeze that lifted my hair and cleared my mind.

I actually breathed in then. It all felt so real.

As our time ended, she thanked me for sharing my walk and I put down the phone, refreshed.

My mind was calm. I finished up my last few tasks quickly, recharged. That energy stayed with me the next day.

I knew listening partnerships can ease stress. I had no idea they could give me a complete escape, and if it hadn’t been for my partner’s warm, open attitude, I might never have found that release.

All it took was one call and I didn’t even have to leave my desk!

From the Hand in Hand Toolbox:

Find out why listening partnerships can transform your ability to parent calmly with Listen Launch Post: What is a Listening Partnership and Why Do I Need One?

Want to listen well and respond better? Hand in Hand's Listening Partnerships e-Booklet will help

Do you know Hand in Hand's Five Simple Tools?


Anca Aurora Deaconu is a Certified Hand In Hand Parenting Instructor.

Connect with Anca on Facebook.


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