Listening: One Simple Question that Blew My Mind

If you could have a break from parenting, what would it look like? "I imagined myself taking this long, unhurried walk by myself. I made up the scene as it came into my mind: How I would find this one, perfect quiet spot, and just sit there, noticing everything around me."

from the hand in hand blog(2)

By Anca Aurora Deaconu

It was getting late in the evening and I was exhausted. It was one of those days when ‘alone time' at my desk was a laughable idea,  a day when even a coffee break couldn’t be squeezed onto my to-do list. I was so overwhelmed. What I needed, what I craved more than anything that night was an escape.

I had no idea I was about to get just that.

woman rocks large

 

I had a window of ‘me time’ scheduled with a listening partner. Although I did wonder how one call could compare to my epic escape plans, I jumped right in, telling my partner how all I wanted right then was to be away and free from my nagging responsibilities.

Then she did something simple but amazing. She asked how I’d spend my time.

I was stuck for a second. My mind went blank.

“What do you see?” she prompted. I imagined myself taking this long, unhurried walk by myself. I made up the scene as it came into my mind: How I would find this one, perfect quiet spot, and just sit there, noticing everything around me.

“What would you see? Hear?” she asked. Again, I went into my mind. This time I sensed more.

A silent, rippling lake. The chill of the rock where I sat. The rustle of a bird as it flew from a branch swinging above me. A cool breeze that lifted my hair and cleared my mind.

I actually breathed in then. It all felt so real.

As our time ended, she thanked me for sharing my walk and I put down the phone, refreshed.

My mind was calm. I finished up my last few tasks quickly, recharged. That energy stayed with me the next day.

I knew listening partnerships can ease stress. I had no idea they could give me a complete escape, and if it hadn’t been for my partner’s warm, open attitude, I might never have found that release.

All it took was one call and I didn’t even have to leave my desk!

From the Hand in Hand Toolbox:

Find out why listening partnerships can transform your ability to parent calmly with Listen Launch Post: What is a Listening Partnership and Why Do I Need One?

Want to listen well and respond better? Hand in Hand's Listening Partnerships e-Booklet will help

Do you know Hand in Hand's Five Simple Tools?

 

Anca Aurora Deaconu is a Certified Hand In Hand Parenting Instructor.

Connect with Anca on Facebook.

 

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