Q: Dear Hand in Hand Parenting
My five year old daughter acts shy at school. Although she knows everyone in her class, and they have been patient and warm with her, she can never make eye contact or speak to anyone that greets her when we arrive to her class each morning. She does open up after arriving, but I’m wondering if there are ways I can make the transition easier when we first get to school?
A: Dear wonderful Mom,
Kids aren’t naturally shy. They feel shy at times because of other feelings, like fear, that get in the way of them living a big life, and you are a great mom for recognizing that your child’s fears are holding her back from becoming fully engaged when she arrives to school.
Playlistening is a wonderful tool to try since she isn’t panicked or screaming not to go. In this situation when you Playlisten you pretend that it’s you, mom, that doesn’t want to go to the classroom. As you pull up to the school, start to drag along on the way. You can tug her gently, and say you don’t want to go. If she laughs, you can play up to her good humor with a little screech here and there when you make another refusal to go and maybe even run a few steps back.
You’ll find that a giggle or two really will help a anxious kid to release their tension. They might also take charge, leading you on towards the school room. Giving them an opportunity to take the more powerful position (without forcing this role on them) will bust away some fear too.
When children can laugh away their fear, they’ll step more confidently into the classroom at the beginning of the day.
Let us know how it goes!
Hugs, Patty
This excerpt is taken from the book Listen, Five Simple Tools to Meet Your Everyday Parenting Challenges, available now.
From the Hand in Hand Toolbox:
See more Playlistening in action in 20 Playful Ways To Heal Separation Anxiety
Learn more about Hand in Hand’s Five Listening Tools in our Foundations Course for Parents & Caregivers
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