Staylistening Surprises: When Things Don’t Go As Planned

English

If you’ve discovered the simple and seemingly radical tool of Staylistening – of staying and listening through your child’s upset – you may have been amazed by how your child recovers from that tantrum or meltdown and returns to brightness and easy co-operate.

Or, you may have not!

Surprise!

Staylistening doesn’t always go the way we parents expect, and there can be many reasons why. On the podcast this week Elle and Abigail look at some of the different ways Staylistening can look and how we might respond in the moment.

  • Children may not go immediately to upset, they may go to anger and that may restimulate us as parents – or vice versa
  • They may also tell us to “go away,” leaving us worried about whether to stay close or not
  • They don’t want any kind of touch, or even for you to look at them
  • How Staylistening looks at different ages

Abigail talks about a technique she uses when her son wanted space called “drive-bys” and gives some insights to Elle into how to her son might be feeling when he changes the subject in the midst of a big upset. They finish on what happens if Staylistening moves to hitting and violence.

If Staylistening has given you one or two surprises, listen in as we decode what could be happening.

More About Staylistening

Here’s the science behind the Hand in Hand Tool of Staylistening

Not sure what to say during Staylistening? Read this!

Mixed feelings about when your child tells you to go away?

We’d love to hear about how Staylistening looks in your house. Does your child do the “classic” staylisten, or have you found yourself moving into unknown territory?

$100 off the Hand in Hand Starter Class

If you want to work with a Hand in Hand Instructor and are interested in the Starter Class Elle mentioned, you can find the details of it here. If you put 2018SUPPORT in at checkout during February, you’ll receive $100 off. (You don’t have to take the class this month – anytime this year is fine!) THIS IS CURRENTLY EXPIRED

Here’s the podcast we mention with Dr. Dan at Parent Footprint.

keep connected

We’d love to hear about the issues affecting you and your family. You can follow Hand in Hand on FacebookTwitterPinterest, and Instagram. Be sure to drop Elle and Abigail a message

You can contact Abigail Wald about parenting courses and consultations, and learn more about her 30-Day Family Reset here.

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You can listen to this episode and every episode on iTunes. Don’t forget to subscribe!

2 thoughts on “Staylistening Surprises: When Things Don’t Go As Planned

    • Thanks Alana. One of our instructors had a good perspective that when you recognise a child is working on shifting some of his or her fears, any work they do is good.

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Elle Kwan Elle Kwan

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