When Kids Hit, What Are They Really Saying? What should I do when my child hits? It’s one of the most common questions we get at Hand in Hand Parenting, and it’s the content
“I hate you!” “You are so mean!” “You don’t love me!” A kick, as you attempt to draw close and maintain some level of order. A scratch, as you reach out to hug. Hitting
Hand in Hand’s Laura Minnigerode uses a special limit setting tool called a vigorous snuggle with a child that scratches and grabs. The warmth and smiles she uses while saying “no,” diffuses anger and fosters connection. Here’s how to set a limit with affection even when a child has aggression.
These are simple practical ideas that will help when your toddler hits.
Odd as it may seem, a child hitting means that child is afraid. To help them stop hitting, it’s helpful to understand that the fears that cause trouble for a child who hits usually have
Help! My 5 year old seems to be out of control these days. He throws toys, he’s very physical with me and our nanny, hitting us (and friends) as hard as can. He’ll be sweet
Apparently, a few of the “older” kids are being very aggressive towards the younger children, hitting them and pushing them around.
Has your child ever lashed out and hurt someone? Has another aggressive child ever bothered him?
A few days later I noticed there had been no aggressive behavior since the day of the big cry.
Later that day, when, once again, he did not get the chair he wanted, he STARTED to reach out and hit, but with pause, he stopped, and at the suggestion of another teacher to sit in another chair, he complied!
I have been working on how to wait when someone else has something my son wants. It all started with hoping to teach my son how to share and play with other kids without my son hitting. Someone would have something he wanted or other way around. So, I have learned to stay close to help him during these times and hold the limit.
As soon as another child would begin playing with a toy, he would come over and either hit the child or grab the toy away.
And even though he felt better, I ended up emotionally spent before my day even started! I was desperate for something different and decided to try playlistening.
This whole situation demonstrates so clearly how the listening tools in Parenting by Connection all work together.
This helped me gain confidence in the notion that if I supportively stayed with my daughter while she struggled with negative emotions, she would come out to the other side of them…