“I hate you!” “You are so mean!” “You don’t love me!” A kick, as you attempt to draw close and maintain some level of order. A scratch, as you reach out to hug. Hitting and a screaming battle as you order “time out.” How hard is it to parent when your child is lashing out? Incredibly
Hand in Hand’s Laura Minnigerode uses a special limit setting tool called a vigorous snuggle with a child that scratches and grabs. The warmth and smiles she uses while saying “no,” diffuses anger and fosters connection. Here’s how to set a limit with affection even when a child has aggression.
These are simple practical ideas that will help when your toddler hits.
Odd as it may seem, a child hitting means that child is afraid. To help them stop hitting, it’s helpful to understand that the fears that cause trouble for a child who hits usually have their roots in some frightening experience earlier in life, even though they may not seem frightened at all. To manage
Help! My 5 year old seems to be out of control these days. He throws toys, he’s very physical with me and our nanny, hitting us (and friends) as hard as can. He’ll be sweet one minute, but when when asked to do something he doesn’t like, he’ll begin a hitting tantrum. I’m worried he
Apparently, a few of the “older” kids are being very aggressive towards the younger children, hitting them and pushing them around.
Has your child ever lashed out and hurt someone? Has another aggressive child ever bothered him?
A few days later I noticed there had been no aggressive behavior since the day of the big cry.
Later that day, when, once again, he did not get the chair he wanted, he STARTED to reach out and hit, but with pause, he stopped, and at the suggestion of another teacher to sit in another chair, he complied!
I have been working on how to wait when someone else has something my son wants. It all started with hoping to teach my son how to share and play with other kids without my son hitting. Someone would have something he wanted or other way around. So, I have learned to stay close to help him during these times and hold the limit.
As soon as another child would begin playing with a toy, he would come over and either hit the child or grab the toy away.
My son and I had been having hard mornings. He would wake up, no doubt feeling disconnected, and just ask to watch a show. He wouldn’t want me to talk, touch or look at him. I would see a need for connection and get close to him. This turned into a long session of him
This whole situation demonstrates so clearly how the listening tools in Parenting by Connection all work together.
This helped me gain confidence in the notion that if I supportively stayed with my daughter while she struggled with negative emotions, she would come out to the other side of them…
My impression was that Joey was in need of having a huge cry to release his pent up feelings, but he couldn’t get to tears very easily since her was conditioned to repress them at home.