Tag: parenting struggles

Why Has My Little Boy Become Violent?

Dear Hand in Hand, Please help. My 4-year-old son has had a turbulent time at pre-school and has become very aggressive. I am seeing this as an issue around separation. We have increased Special Time, and I’m finding he has a huge, driving desire to play from the minute I pick him up at midday.

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Five Truths Every New Parent Should Know

No matter how many books you read, how many people you talk to, holding your new baby in your arms is a life-changing moment. Depending on the birth experience you have, you may be elated or you may be exhausted. You may crest highs you’ve never known, or you may feel bleaker than the darkest

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don't know how to play with my kids

What If I’m Just Not A Playful Parent?

“Play with me?” That one question is asked at least 100 times a day in most houses, by kids to their parents. Time and time again we hear that play improves connections. Greys Anatomy-creator (and former workaholic) Shonda Rhimes did a whole Ted Talk on how play impacted her life as a parent. Larry Cohen has two

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When a Listening Partnership Feels Like a First Date

A good friend of mine is following my work with Hand in Hand with great admiration, so one day I asked her if she’d be interested in doing a Listening Partnership. She said yes, but reluctantly, because she did not have too much information about it. Our first session went terribly! We couldn’t find any subject to

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Special Time Helps a Preteen Open Up

  By Sarah Charlton We had just returned from a big family wedding in another part of the country and even though it had been a really good trip, we hadn’t had a lot of connection time to ourselves. We were feeling tired, so getting my son off to school the following morning had been

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How To Make Time for Quality Time with Your Kids

Modern life keeps us busy. Between meal planning, cleaning, playdates and school, how do you make time for quality time with your children? Special Time is one way to ensure those moments happen, however fleeting. Special Time is the moment you carve into your schedule to spend time with your child. During that time, parents set

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What To Do When Your Child Wants to Quit

Classes are opening and tryouts are on. But what happens if your child refuses to go? Are you respecting their wishes if you agree, or are you holding them back from opportunity? Here, one mother faces just that dilemma when her son wants to quit baseball. As she digs deeper she discovers it wasn’t the sport

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5 Ways To Play Away Parenting Struggles

Giggles and laughter are stress dissolvers, making play a great way to tackle many everyday parenting challenges. In her book Listen: Five Tools To Meet Your Everyday Parenting Challenges, Patty Wipfler lists Playlistening as one of five essential parenting tools for calm, connected parenting. When parents use the Playlistening tool, they act goofy, promoting laughter and

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Staylistening – How Does Crying Help You and Your Child?

What is Hand in Hand Parenting?: Day 4 Understandably, parents often become annoyed by crying and use all kinds of strategies to hush their child up. In my family, the stock threat was, “If you don’t stop your crying right now, I’ll give you something to cry about!” The policy was dead straight: “No crying

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Special Time, Building Connection in Minutes

What is Hand in Hand Parenting?: Day 2  A sense of connection gives real power to your child. It grants them the ability to think, to cooperate, to feel good about themselves and the people around them. Connection opens up avenues to learning. And it helps your child develop judgment over time.   If you

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Three Steps to Setting Effective Limits With Your Kids

Most approaches to discipline assume that the adult has the intelligence and judgment, and the child must be trained. He’s seen as essentially uncivilized. It’s the child’s job to obey quickly; it’s the parent’s job to meet uncivil acts with negative responses. That means setting limits. Many modern parents have a somewhat more generous outlook

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Hidden Triggers Reveal Why I Get So Angry

I had been parenting my daughter for 5 years and stay listening with her for 3 years before I realized the importance of being listened to myself. During this time, I noticed a common trigger. My older daughter’s tendency to take things out of other people’s hands, especially her younger sister’s and mine, caused me to

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Sometimes the Answer Just Has To Be “No”

By Andrea McCracken As parents, we often fight with the idea of saying “no” to our children, especially if it means a big upset in public. But sometimes the behaviour that is driving us batty is because children need a definite “no” to push back from. And sometimes the best thing they can do is to push

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How Raspberries Cured After-School Stress

After school, my son was clearly off track and needing to offload some feelings. He had been at his little brother since he got in the car, and then on the way home, he started calling me “stupid.” Normally, being called stupid is very restimulating for me, but I had been working on it with my

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