Tag: Listening to Children

Transform Hair Washing Upsets

When my son was about 21 months old, he started to hate having water poured over his head when I washed his hair in the bath. He would scream and scream every time, even when I was meticulously careful not to get any suds or water in his eyes. After a few weeks of this

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Wanting Mama

My daughter is 3, and she’s going to pre-school now. My husband and I have recently separated. Ella loves school. She talks about it enthusiastically when she’s at home, and she likes being there, but has a very difficult time when I leave her there. She wraps herself around me, clings tightly, and won’t let

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How Does Connection Play Help with Homework?

Halfway through the first grade, my 7-year-old did not want to write or spell at home or school anymore. This was new for him. It seemed to me like the expectations for the first graders were significantly higher than those for kindergarteners and I think it was showing in his reluctance. One afternoon, we had

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Transitioning from TV

I believe the studies that suggest that TV isn’t really helpful for children because such passivity occurs for the viewer. Yet, I’d let the viewing get out of hand during a difficult few weeks. So, even though I wasn’t over my cold yet, I had a good Listening Exchange, in which my listening partner reminded

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The “Wrong” Sippy Cup

Last night, my son (27 months) was having a typical evening, in a pretty good mood generally but, as usual, resisted having his teeth brushed. I brushed them just a little bit, let him brush them the rest himself, and then it was time for books in bed. He requested some water, which I typically

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Listening through a Homework Challenge

My daughter was given a month to learn all the states and their capitals. She’s in fifth grade. About two weeks before the due date, she had learned some states, but not many, and I made the suggestion that we work together. I offered to help her learn groups of about six states at a

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I Love You No Matter What Feelings You Are Having

It felt like an MFA in parenting! I think he really got the message that I love him and accepted his feelings and would not punish him for sharing them. Which now I realize I WAS doing in the past even though I had NO IDEA I was doing that!

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Thumb-sucking and Holding Feelings Inside

We have raised my 6-year old daughter with Parenting by Connection ideas. One of my daughter’s friends sucks his thumb often. Suddenly, she began experimenting with sucking her thumb—she had never used her thumb as an infant. So for a few days, she went around at home with her thumb in her mouth a lot.

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Sleep Issues: Helping My 5-year-old Sleep on Her Own

My habit had been to lay down with my five-year-old daughter at bedtime until she was asleep, which often took half an hour or more.  She would fall asleep fairly easily when others put her to bed, reading books with the light on until she fell asleep. I was ready to make a shift in

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Supporting My Daughter in Learning Multiplication Tables

My daughter pretty much skated through first and second grade math, but now it’s getting a bit more challenging and she has to memorize her multiplication tables.  This is not something she enjoys and she has really been resisting it. But she is also getting frustrated when she needs to use multiplication in math exercises because

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What Is Your Child Saying When She Cries?

For the last few weeks my five-year-old hasn’t wanted to play independently. She either wanted to play with a friend or watch a video. We took her to a Hand in Hand Parenting Play Morning where she and I did Special Time. Right after the Special Time, she announced she didn’t want me to be

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gift tantrums

The Gift of a Thousand Tantrums

This morning Brook, my mostly mild-mannered four-year-old, had a huge tantrum. We were just about to get in the car and join our friends on a hike. It all seemed to be going as planned but quickly took a turn when, out of the blue, Brook refused to sit in his booster seat and wear

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Special Time Leads to Connection

I am absolutely amazed at the powerful effects that Special Time has on my relationship with my daughter, and also in helping her address things that are bothering her.

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Tantrum Training Class Helps a Family

First I would like to thank for your support. I am so glad that I could attend the Tantrum Training seminar. I have a 2.5 year old son and a 16 month old daughter. As my daughter started walking recently, she invaded my son’s territory. There is constant fighting, crying and tantruming. I used to

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Setting Limits about Food

This morning my daughter had a tantrum because I didn’t give her as much maple syrup as she wanted. She declared she wasn’t eating breakfast and threw herself into some angry crying. I quieted my mind that wanted to argue with her and say, “You asked for pancakes all morning and you have plenty of

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