This was my first experience with Stay Listening and I loved it! No need to say the right thing, counsel, negotiate, or give advice. Being present, listening, and trusting my son’s emotional processing – this felt right!
Has your child ever lashed out and hurt someone? Has another aggressive child ever bothered him?
A part of me just wanted to push through and get it over with, but then I thought maybe a little impromptu special time might shift the mood.
A few days later I noticed there had been no aggressive behavior since the day of the big cry.
Given the morning conversation, I kept telling her that both mummy and daddy love her, that she was safe and that we would both continue to look after her.
Whenever I caught a break from his rigorous brushing, I begged, “no more!” in vain. He would put more rigor into his brushing laughing and really enjoying this role reversal.
When your child experiences a traumatic separation, there are simple, practical things you can do to help.
Just when I thought things couldn’t get any worse, my son turned into Houdini and escaped from his car seat. It was now taking an average of two hours just to get a few miles.
I talked about nail biting, how I feel about it, and how I feel about my sons doing it. It felt to me as if nail biting was one of those habits that was almost impossible to shake off. I felt that my sons were doomed to live with the habit for the rest of their lives.
Later that day, when, once again, he did not get the chair he wanted, he STARTED to reach out and hit, but with pause, he stopped, and at the suggestion of another teacher to sit in another chair, he complied!
I decided that we had to do some Special Time (whether we wanted to or not!)
We talked about holding hands crossing the road and I pointed out the safe places for him to ride on his own. That was good for awhile.
I have been working on how to wait when someone else has something my son wants. It all started with hoping to teach my son how to share and play with other kids without my son hitting. Someone would have something he wanted or other way around. So, I have learned to stay close to help him during these times and hold the limit.
I quickly grabbed a small notebook and pen, scribbled, “Dear Owen, I love you, Love Mommy” on a sheet of paper, and shoved it under the door.
Now, that it was time to brush teeth and go to bed, they were not in the mood.