Introducing The Great Sumo Play! My most recent fun idea for dissolving sibling struggles between my 6 and 12 year old is (drumroll): Sumo wrestling shirts! We get two of dad’s big t-shirts, stuff the front and back with bed pillows (2 in front, 1 in back seems to work well) and then, let the wrestling begin!
“Hi, Hand in Hand Parenting, My almost 3 1/2 year old is having an especially hard time right now with family coming to visit. He has always had an extremely high need for connection. He still needs to sleep right next to me- not even his super involved attachment parenting dad will suffice. But he
Words don’t work well in setting limits with children of any age! Move in close, offer a tone of generosity and warmth, and gently but firmly stop the unworkable behavior.
Dear Hand in Hand My child is the pickiest eater I have ever met. Everything has to be completely unblemished and their food cannot have touched anything else that might discolor it. On top of this, they will eat almost only white food! I don’t want to force food onto them, or make eating a
As I was making the food, she came and sat on the counter right next to me and said, “I’m such a bad girl. There you are doing all those nice things for me, and I always act terribly, not even thanking you, and lying to you all the time…”
Often times my son will walk by his siblings and push them down or punch them on their backs or yell in their faces. If they are doing something that irritates him, he will get extremely close and ball up his fists and visibly shake with anger.
he was stuck in “I want to go to the park” land. He whined, cried and begged to go to the park. I tried playing games with him to distract him, to no avail. I made up a song about “I want to go to the park.” He laughed a bit at that silliness, but soon returned to, “I want to go to the paaaarrrrk!!!” I ran around him in circles and tried to get him to dance with me. It only upset him more. His responses to all my questions and actions were, “I want to go to the park!!!” That was when I realized that it was not about going to the park. He was setting himself up for emotional release.
Halfway through the first grade, my 7-year-old did not want to write or spell at home or school anymore. This was new for him. It seemed to me like the expectations for the first graders were significantly higher than those for kindergarteners and I think it was showing in his reluctance. One afternoon, we had
I am absolutely amazed at the powerful effects that Special Time has on my relationship with my daughter, and also in helping her address things that are bothering her.
First I would like to thank for your support. I am so glad that I could attend the Tantrum Training seminar. I have a 2.5 year old son and a 16 month old daughter. As my daughter started walking recently, she invaded my son’s territory. There is constant fighting, crying and tantruming. I used to
Has your child ever lashed out and hurt someone? Has another aggressive child ever bothered him?
A part of me just wanted to push through and get it over with, but then I thought maybe a little impromptu special time might shift the mood.
Whenever I caught a break from his rigorous brushing, I begged, “no more!” in vain. He would put more rigor into his brushing laughing and really enjoying this role reversal.
I talked about nail biting, how I feel about it, and how I feel about my sons doing it. It felt to me as if nail biting was one of those habits that was almost impossible to shake off. I felt that my sons were doomed to live with the habit for the rest of their lives.
I decided that we had to do some Special Time (whether we wanted to or not!)
I quickly grabbed a small notebook and pen, scribbled, “Dear Owen, I love you, Love Mommy” on a sheet of paper, and shoved it under the door.
Now, that it was time to brush teeth and go to bed, they were not in the mood.
The next time I saw him on tippy toes, with a worried look on his face, I moved towards him and put my arms around him. I said “Hey mate, it looks like you need to do a poo. I’m going to help you”. That was all he needed to start crying – he fought hard against me as he cried, “No, No, NO! I don’t want to.”