I used to be a high school teacher. As a teacher, I gave homework. That was my job and a tradition, something that I didn’t even think to question. So when my older son entered Kindergarten, I also didn’t question the homework my son brought home on Monday, due Friday. They were simple tasks, but
Is getting ready for school making you all stressed every morning? Do you find yourself screaming “We’re gonna be late!”… …only to find your son still sitting around in his pyjamas? Do you ask yourself why you have to ask them 300 times to do something? Do you feel panic rising at the thought of being late?
I was excited to become a mother, but I didn’t have any idea what I was in for. I thought that parenting would be lots of love and gently guiding my child. I thought that if I was reasonable and kind when I was setting limits that my son would kindly and reasonably comply. When
Like many parents I often feel the amount of stuff to do around the house is endless. Cooking, cleaning, washing, tidying, and laundry makes me feel exhausted just thinking about it! My partner helps out when he’s around, but because I’m the one at home most I do more than half of the work. I
The summer before Susan Derby began a graduate degree in Social Work she decided to run a class on connection parenting skills to a group at a non-profit housing facility in Los Angeles, CA. The organisation provides shelter for homeless families with children, and Susan, a Hand in Hand Instructor, thought that visiting would be an
Dear Hand in Hand, “I’ve heard a lot about the parent listening tool, Listening Partnerships, but what makes them so different to the good, easy chats I have with my friends about parenting? I have one friend that I met when we were both pregnant, and our children have grown up together. We share and
I was chatting with a friend that has recently taken a Hand in Hand course of mine. She commented that since doing the course she feels like I am an extra voice in her head, and that i’m always in there, commenting on her parenting! We laughed, but I recalled something like the same experience. I
I have a weekly appointment with a Listening Partner and I know that this scheduled time helps me work deeply on topics that feel heavy to me in my family life. But it happens quite regularly that during a week various different situations might awaken strong feelings and I feel a great amount of parenting stress.
Three years ago on Christmas morning, I started crying. My grandmother had died a month earlier and I was spending Christmas with my in-laws. Suddenly I felt bad as if I had abandoned my own family. My husband got upset too, I could see that he was feeling unhappy that I was suddenly wanting
“Play with me?” That one question is asked at least 100 times a day in most houses, by kids to their parents. Time and time again we hear that play improves connections. Greys Anatomy-creator (and former workaholic) Shonda Rhimes did a whole Ted Talk on how play impacted her life as a parent. Larry Cohen has two
Most of us are taught to hush children when they cry, but parents using Hand in Hand’s approach learn how valuable crying can be for a child’s emotional health. When crying is supported with a parent’s warm support and attention, crying can be a unique way for children to unblock fears and uncertainties, but there
“I have come to believe that caring for myself is not self indulgent. Caring for myself is an act of survival. – Audre Lorde When parents learn about Hand in Hand’s five Listening Tools they are soon amazed by the transformations. Parents start spending Special Time with their children and they learn how to play. They
Our family recently traveled and we had decided to get some vaccinations for our 3 ½ year-old daughter. We needed three shots over three visits. My daughter had never had shots before, but the first time went beautifully, probably because she had no preconception about what to expect. The second time she was terrified. She screamed
After the start of the second grade, I very quickly noticed some heavy struggles around homework come up. It was clear I was going to need to help my child with school. At the start of the year, my son’s second grade teacher gave all the parents special instructions for doing homework this year: set
My 13-year-old son was off track in a way that doesn’t happen often. I asked him to turn off the TV in order to shift to bedtime mode at 9pm on a Sunday, and he resisted. It led us to a talk about screen time and balance. This weekend had been both very busy for
I took my boys, 6 and 7, to the Museum of Natural History to see a 3D movies about marine dinosaurs. The youngest is especially sensitive to traumatic events in movies and games, so I had checked that the movie’s rating was age-appropriate. However, instead of having an impersonal nature movie, the plot was a
When my 6-year-old son began the first grade in a new school district, school went from being easy to being a big challenge for him both socially and academically. Being the youngest in his class with a late November birthday, it seemed to his teacher and me that repeating the grade the following year might
When my son was 4 he went through a period when he was very resistant to getting dressed. It didn’t matter if he was dressing himself or if I offered to help him, it was a struggle every morning. Over the course of a few weeks I attempted all sorts of play to try to