When my husband and I chose parenthood through adoption, I knew that I would be mothering a child who carried deep hurt. These days, children are generally removed due to adversity in their birth families, so trauma is inevitable. I did the reading and training in readiness for being the mum I wanted to be.
This week on the podcast talk turns to tweens and what it takes to parent through what can bring some on turbulent times. With Abigail parenting a double tween household and Elle raising a 10-year-old, there’s plenty of personal stories about the various trials (and joys!) of having tweens at home. We look at some
When my daughter was five and a half, we decided to take our craft project outside on a gorgeous afternoon. As soon as she sat down, a big black spider jumped on her arm and bit her. She screamed in pain and ran back inside. I followed her and saw her arm was getting swollen.
If you’ve discovered the simple and seemingly radical tool of Staylistening – of staying and listening through your child’s upset – you may have been amazed by how your child recovers from that tantrum or meltdown and returns to brightness and easy co-operate. Or, you may have not! Surprise! Staylistening doesn’t always go the way
How can you keep connected to your children as they get older? In this video, Roma talks about the value of listening to your tween and teen when they offload, and why this one transformational tool is so wonderful for keeping children close as they get older and begin to move away from the
My middle daughter Dody recently got her sister Toty a present. It was really thoughtful of her, but she didn’t know that Toty had bought exactly the same notebook in exactly the same color two days earlier. Toty got really mad. She thought Dodo hadn’t thought much about her. Then Dodo got mad at
Sometimes the things that affect our children are not things that would upset us. In our bids to offer solutions, however well-meaning, we often forget to stop and listen. Yet one of the best solutions we can offer is space. Listening to children vent their feelings of wrongdoing or injustice can be all they need
A Guest Post with Roma Norriss Tantrums are an inevitable element of childhood. No matter what we do, beginning at around age two, big upsets and crying always appear. It can be as late as six before we see them stop, although many parents see big cries from much older children too – something that
How can you respond to a hurt child calmly, when you feel panicked yourself? Instructor Emilie Leeks discovers it takes some practice, but the results are easy to see. “We’d only just left for the shops when our 3-year-old slipped off their scooter. It was quite a tumble, and they were clutching at their legs
Our son is nearly three years old. He still goes through some separation anxiety when he’s without his mom. We usually put him to bed together, but the other night, my wife needed a break. So our routine began. I read him a book, tucked him in and said goodnight. The minute the lights went
Setting Limits and Staylistening Those of you with picky eaters are familiar with requests—or demands—for “something else” to eat. Rigidity around food is like rigidity around anything else: it signals a need for help. We often need to set a limit for a child who ventures off to replace our food selections with his own.
What happens to you when your child announces “I’m bored?” Despite research telling us that boredom is actually good for children – it can help foster creativity and independence – most of us try to rush into a solution when we hear those words. Boredom strikes when children become unstuck in their play. Perhaps they are
A guest post by Laura Minnigerode Children’s brains are wired to connect with caregivers. And if they cry it means they feel especially safe and secure. Since a child’s limbic system works brilliantly to protect them, they will often find a pretext to offload stress, whether that’s a small bump which causes a big cry,
Every Monday morning, just as soon as he wakes up, my son remembers that he’s supposed to go to the kindergarten and starts protesting: “I don’t like it, mommy and I don’t want to go; please let me stay home”. I listen to him every time, I hold him gently and then I say my “no”. He
Have you ever got home from a really crap day where EVERYTHING went wrong? You see that your darling partner has accidentally left the milk out of the fridge and you just LOSE it, ranting and screaming. Seemingly this is over the milk being left out… Has your child ever “flipped their lid” because you
We were on our way home from a festival weekend where we had camped out. We’d been on the road for an hour or so. My 3-year-old daughter was busy drawing and I was sitting in the back seat with her. She started to get frustrated trying to write some letters. I offered to help,