În multe dintre culturile occidentale există o istorie lungă privind permisiunea de a bate copiii. Mulți dintre părinții noștri foloseau această metodă de disciplinare. Cei mai mulți dintre noi credem că părinții noștri au făcut ce au putut ei mai bine ca să ne iubească. Când vine vorba despre a ne bate sau nu copiii, problema este destul de confuză – dacă noi am devenit adulți integri deși părinții noștri ne-au bătut, oare n-o fi bătaia o metodă acceptabilă, ba chiar dezirabilă de a disciplina copiii?
As parents, we do so much to support our children in their happiness. We make sure to get just the right balance of peanut butter and jelly on their sandwich, stock their favorite cereal, keep their comfiest pairs of socks … Continue reading
Often, our children find reason to be beside themselves with upset. These are rough times for them, and trying times for us as parents, too. We are taught to hush, shush, distract, rock, jiggle, joke, or, when we hit that low … Continue reading
Of course we parents worry that if we show warmth and even humour when a child is acting aggressively, he won’t learn to govern his behaviour. This concern is rooted in the idea that the child who lashes out is choosing to do so. In fact, the child who hits out feels trapped an emotional corner, and is in what Patty Wipfler calls an “emotional emergency.”
Parents have full and busy lives. It’s easy to become stressed and overwhelmed with the tasks for our day and easier still to want to move at lightning speed to “just get it done.” Yet, the more we try to push through our day, while dragging our kiddos along, the more we set the stage for a meltdown after we’ve left the house.
Does your toddler suddenly haul back and hit you in the midst of a sweet and playful time together? Or does he impulsively smack other children, even his own siblings? If so, let me reassure you that you haven’t failed … Continue reading
The boy was unhappy. His Mommy had gone downstairs for a moment, leaving him and his sisters in the arms of a good friend. He could see her through the window, and she was gone all of three minutes, but … Continue reading
When we decide to bring a second child home, we long for those siblings to be good friends. Or at least not bicker all the time so we can get some quiet moments to ourselves. But inevitable tiffs, clashes, and … Continue reading
The kinds of consequences we parents favor depend on the culture we’ve grown up in, but we’re all pretty well convinced, when we start out, that a parent needs to exact consequences for a child’s unthinking moments.
Even when we parents have made a conscious decision not to be harsh with our children, reprimands roll all too easily out of our mouths. When their behavior triggers feelings for us, those feelings make us forget that our children are good. That they are built to get along with others, have fun, try new things, and laugh with their friends. We forget that on most days, they’ll also have moments when they can’t act in concert with the best in their nature, just like we do. Continue reading